Maturity

The secret of genius is to carry the spirit of childhood into maturity --Thomas Henry Huxley

Ada juga jenis-jenis manusia yang suka timbulkan maturity issue to the point of annoyance. Orang-orang macam ni yang selalunya yang immature. I don't know if they have identity crisis or something, but these people, in trying and wanting so much to appear matured, dia jadi macam outstandingly childish sampai naik menyampah tengok.

Don't be surprised, though, if you notice, orang macam nilah yang selalu point at orang lain as "tak matured" or "macam budak-budak". As for me, personally I tak pernah peduli pun kalau orang nak kata I macam ni. Hey, in every man there lurks a child, ain't it? If you cannot accept that, then truly, you are not matured. For these reasons lah, until now, at this age, I memang suka main playstation, or watch Cartoon Network, or buy soft toys, or play kite ~ the list is endless. So what?

Maturity begins when we're content to feel we're right about something without feeling the necessity to prove someone else wrong. -- Sydney J. Harris

This is another thing. Kalau ada crisis ke, atau problem ke, maturity calls a person to deal with it in the most sensible way and tackle the issues steadily. Meaning, takde lah nak heret mak bapak sekali ke, siblings ke, or panggil gang ke.. kan? Or buat roadshow sana sini, announce to the whole world. Ataupun buat ungkit-mengungkit session. I mean, if you are confident enough that you are blameless and innocent, then diam-diam sudahlah. No need to go out of the way pulak nak tunjuk diri sendiri betul and others are wrong. Amazingly, many people tend to have lots of energies kalau nak buat benda-benda macam ni. *sighs*

Relationships are the hallmark of the mature person. -- Brian Tracy

Ni yang paling best dalam dunia.. eheh nak cakap banyak-banyak pun malas, takut ada yang terasa kan. Anyways, kalau nak tau orang tu mature ke tak, one way is to look at him or her in handling a relationship. Like I said, ni yang paling seronok tengok, sey. In small quantities, immaturity boleh jadi cute, amusing and sweet. Excessively, it could be a tragedy and may lead a husband to betray his wife, a boyfriend five-timing his girlfriend and vice versa.

Having an elderly boyfriend teaches me so many things where maturity is concerned. Yeah, mine is the kind of man who could easily reduce me to tears with his sharp glance, or silence me with merely a word ~ a prerogative that nobody else enjoys where I am concerned but please don't tell him this, ever! Yeah, with him, tak usahlah nak buat stunt yang bukan-bukan, i.e. kalau u had a small fight while travelling in a car, janganlah nak suruh dia turunkan tepi jalan ke apa ke. Or swear using foul words, or raise your voice. Yeah, jangan cari nahas.

Trust is also another element of maturity. I, for one, do not think that constantly browsing through the mobile phone of your spouse is a healthy thing to do. Or calling your spouse every hour just to check. Or constantly texting your spouse informing about your location. Man, I don't have the energy to do that. Takde kerja nak check ni.. tapi kalau terjumpa sendiri tu lain cerita lah kan.

Bercakap pasal trust in relationship ni, sepatah kata kawan I, Yan, "Bini ke gf ke,kalau jenis kaki control dan kuat cemburu memang hari-hari kena tipu punyalah". Sebabnya, merimaskanlah orang jenis macam ni. Tapi, terlampau percaya pun tak boleh juga.. berdondang sayanglah kawan, ye tak. Jadi kenalah pandai-pandai find the right balance. That's what maturity is all about...

Tapi kalau dah melampau sangat immature, memanglah tak kuasa nak layan lagi dah. Be it in a friendship or in a relationship. Normally in this case, I would decide that we've come to the end of the line lah.. ewah macam lagu plak la kan. Tak kuasa nak layan lagi.. PENAT!

Note : The photos are quoted from various sites namely reggie.net, lotuspix.com, edupic.net and trendysavers.com. The credits, therefore, belong to the original photographers.

The First Day In School

I saw the news of children during their first day in school in Nightline just now. As always, macam-macam gaya ada. Ada yang menangis, ada pulak yang mak dia kata excited nak sekolah sampai bangun at 4 am. Fuiyoh, rajinnya kau nak oiii.

Apa pun, rasa bangga ada, terharu pun ada. Dalam menangis, dalam excited tu semuanya pergi juga sekolah for the sake of menuntut ilmu. Tak kira, sekolah di bandar atau di desa, semuanya sama-sama pergi ke sekolah nak dapatkan ilmu. Very united. Ada pula yang confident, senyum aje when interviewed, pandai betul bercakap. Very good.

Hmm maybe this has something to do with getting older (heheh). I get a little bit more sensitive lately. Masa yang bas langgar plaza tol kat Ipoh tu pun, rasa sangat sedih dan kesian pada mangsa yang terkorban. Then masa banjir tu, nampak visual baby tergolek tidur dalam dewan pusat pemindahan banjir. Masa tu rasa kesian sangat-sangat tengok. Yalah kesian dia tidurlah dalam dewan tu tergolek atas lantai. And now anak orang lain yang pergi sekolah I plak tak pasal-pasal terharu...

Betullah tu.. dah tua. Either that, or it is just my Naluri Sufi. Aiseh... ;)

Dendam Kesumat : Addendum

like I said, there were sparks between us. but hey, he has gotten so thin. could it be because he is suffering from a terminal disease? Is he broken-hearted? It's like he has lost the will to live. I am so going to find out. Oh yes, I will. I strongly sense that he is unhappy. Semoga dibukakan jalan untuk I find out. Amin.

yang satu itu yang jiwa mahu

"jikalau jiwa inginkan satu, yang satu itu yang jiwa mahu"

I 'borrowed' this lovely phrase from my regal sis a long time ago. This was said by a certain regal someone in a very regal place wholly and exclusively owned by my regal sis. I borrowed this with permission and hereby declare that this be my personal tagline. Meaning to say, someone created this lovely phrase and I borrow it. This is not my original phrase.

But in my case, this phrase is every inch applicable. This is to say that when I do want something, then that thing is the only thing that I want, not more not less. Contrary to some people who said they wanted something and yet 'acquired' another thing. Or creature. Or livestock. See, I am not twisted. I am true to my words.

very meaningful, isn't it? those who know, knows. *wink*

The Body Exchange : Part II

I asked my friend regarding The Body Exchange concept.. well, discussed was more like it.. a wonderful man, aged 45 (not my ex-boyfriend). He admitted that he used to 'play the field' too. But slowed down when he found a steady. Yes, I am certain that he was quite a player in his days. How I envy the girls... hehehe kidding...

So I asked him whether he had an 'occasional sliding' after marriage. He said, that's quite normal, plus it would be accompanied with guilt afterwards. I told him that, in my case, of course, I am prepared to make allowances for 'occasional sliding'. Old habit dies hard, after all (see, i am very cool and understanding). Just that it is difficult for me to comprehend the act of men who keep on doing it even after marriage and children, not to mention collecting sluts. I guess the only possible and plausible explanation would be that it is done as a hobby, a favourite pastime, a habit.

He told me, "There is no such thing as 'hobby' in this matter. If one does it too often, then it is not a hobby, it is a sickness. It could also mean he is having a mid-life crisis "

I was all smiling. I said "but in my case he hasn't even reached the middle age yet. So it must be a whole-life crisis".

The Body Exchange

as I was driving back home this evening.. i thought of this concept : The Body Exchange. Why, we used to have the Kuala Lumpur Stock Exchange (now Bursa Malaysia), a place for trading shares. So let's talk about another form of exchange here, shall we?

The Body Exchange : Men, especially married men, who are playing the field in full throttle, sleeping around religiously, accumulating mistresses relentlessly, cruising from one girlfriend to another, exposing their wives to STDs. In short, their bodies are like a 'trading' exchange for an endless succession of women (or sluts, depending on the case).These men are not that different from them sex workers (alternate word for h**kers). Ah, but even sex workers do quote a price. They get paid for services rendered. These men, however, along with trading their bodies FOC, they will be the one generously compensating the sluts they are sleeping with. Money, property, gifts - all acceptable.

Appealing, isn't it? Freely available plus money and property and gifts. Verry irresistible package.

Many, many blissful years ago, the higher the education of the bride-to-be, the larger the figures of the hantaran for her. But hello, these days the going trend is : the richer the man, the more obscene the amount of hantaran will be charged (not to mention the acquiring expenses (or shall i say courting?), irrespective of the nature and character of the bride-to-be, whether she is educated, or slutty, or scheming, or of a perampas nature. Love is really blind, yes. *wink*

imagine when one wants to buy a magazine : it's most natural if he or she chooses the brand new, fresh-looking ones, and not the dog-eared ones. Rasa macam tak best kalau beli yang orang dah buka-buka, dah terlipat here and there. Macam beli 2nd hand mags. Now, consider this: how if one of you ladies is unfortunate enough to be married to a man who carries The Body Exchange label. Bukan satu, bukan dua, bukan sepuluh... berpuluh-puluh perempuan have been 'traded' at the body exchange. EYIKESSSS!

but when it comes to choosing a lifelong partner, these men opt for the untouched, the holy virgin, the noble ones. So let us remind them of something which they have conveniently forgotten:

"The fornicator shall not marry any but a fornicatoress or a mushrikah, and none marries her (fornicatoress) except a fornicator or a mushrik : such are forbidden to the believers".

[An-Nur : 3]

.... dah tau baguslah ....

kejap, kejap, kejap! you guys tahu kan, the meaning of ..

"COPPER CROCODILE"

tau kan? dah tau baguslah hehehe.. soooo relevant to this blog :) :) :)

GOD HELP ME

Most recent development.. when he was in town a few weeks ago, we had a lengthy conversation. He joked about marrying me. And I played along. I was joking, alright. And moments later... he said "So, bila I nak masuk meminang?" Relax je I jawab "Bila you dah cukup duit". I was joking. And I've completely forgotten about it. Until just now, I checked my mobile in my bedroom and there's an sms from him.. he is currently on assignment somewhere in Indonesia and he left a number for me. God help me..looks like he's making himself available for me all the time now.. as if he's saying I am always here for you no matter where I am.. please... I hope he is not serious. I love him as my own brother in the same way I love his best friend. I kan tak ada abang... kakak pun tak ada.. He is such a great guy... I am really scared now.. I hope my life will not be more complicated than it already is....susahlah ini macam... last monday there was one.. and now another one.. just what is it with me and married men? I don't go looking for them. Here I am trying to keep fit.. brisk-walking my way up and down the hills.. tolonglah... aku tak bersalah... heheheheheheheh... *grin*

note : kenapa orang yang lahir tahun 1969 ni gorgon semuanya?

Relationship - Insecurity and Jealousy

Are you suffering from these?

I am sure everybody is, but in different ways. But how you deal with it determines what is going to happen to you in later days.

It is really up to you. Because, we cannot change others. But we can control and improve ourselves.

At its worst, a wife may be cheated or even abandoned by her husband, a couple might end their relationship, a woman may lose her sanity, and thousand other possibilities.

You see, by nature, you can't really control another human being. Manusia ini bukankah ada perasaan. Sometimes, zahirnya sahaja dia patuh dan menurut kata, but deep down, Allah sahaja yang Maha Mengetahui.

It's really amazing how much energy a woman has when she is feeling insecure and jealous.

I have witnessed one. Really colorful. At first, the wife use some sort of 'spiritual' thing. You see, things like 'Pelindung' , 'Pendinding' , 'Penunduk'. Whenever a relative is coming over to KL, or going back to her kampung, bergelen-gelen 'air jampi' dipesannya. Not to mention sugar and salts yang dah 'berjampi' dan diletakkan dalam masakan. Despite all these, her husband has been having a mistress for eight years and she did not know a thing. She even bragged to relatives yang dia pandai jaga suami, suami mendengar cakap dia, and everything.

But I could easily see why. The only thing that puzzled me a little at that time was how on earth did the husband end up marrying her?

Now she is the kind of woman who is very boastful. Why she is like that is beyond me. She didn't really score well in the looks department, no charm, no qualification and nor is she a rich, spoiled girl. But yes, she is a nagging, pushy, whiny and very, very, very insecure person. Lepas tu dengan husband bukan main eksyen lagi.

When she found out about her husband's infidelity, the effect was tremendous. She was like meraung-raung sekuat hati, shouting at the top of her lungs - all the things that happened bila orang kena sampuk. And to make it more eventful, dia tinggal di rumah pangsa. So almost everybody in her block and the nearby ones boleh dengar. Cool, huh?

And she started doing stalkerly things. Whenever her husband's mobile rang, dia duduk sebelah husband dia untuk dengar. Kalau husbandnya bangun nak ke tempat lain, dia akan ikut. Also, dia check mobile husband dia on a daily basis. Call her husband a thousand times a day to prevent him from calling others. Even more interesting, husband stayed mostly in Nilai because he worked in KLIA and she stayed and worked in KL. So she has got the brain to go check the husband's rented house in Nilai. But what makes her even more smarter was the fact that she proudly announced to her husband "Bila-bila masa saja saya boleh pergi check rumah awak dekat Nilai tu". Bijaksana, kan?

She also called her husband's office, told the admin about her husband. She also badmouthed her husband to his siblings only to have their back turned on her. She threatened to kill her children. She even threatened suicide (which I silently prayed will come true, because it will save a lot of problems heheh).

Oh, she did not know exactly who the other woman was. But she has her own suspect. Of course, given her level of thinking, she has got the wrong suspect. But that is not the point. The point is, she did everything ugly to that person whom she suspected was having an affair with her husband. She called her parents, called her office, tried to attack her - all sorts of things. But the so-called suspect never ever responded to her, not even a single sms, making her depressed twice.

So, ladies, ask yourselves. Are you suffering from extreme insecurity and jealousy? If the answer is yes, clearly you need help. You seriously need professional help, believe me.

Here are some waves of advice:

Firstly, learn to accept that tiada yang kekal di dunia ini kecuali Allah. And be sincere about it. Insya Allah if you can accept this, memang tidak terlintas nak buat perkara-perkara yang 'menakutkan' like the ones I've mentioned above.

Secondly, brace yourself. Search your feelings. Improve yourself. Kalau ada yang perlu diperbaiki, do it instantly. This will make you feel good and confident. Rather than blaming others or finding absurd solution, why not opt for self-development? It pays in every single way.

Thirdly, something beautiful grows slowly by itself. Tak perlu dipaksa-paksa. Dan tak perlulah nak campurkan dengan unsur lain, contohnya menggunakan pendinding, pelindung, penunduk or pemanis. Tak perlu waste time guna khidmat bomoh. You see, they clearly use syaitan dan jin. Sedangkan in Al Quran it is clearly stated, jin dan syaitan itu sifatnya lebih menjurus kepada yang tidak baik. And, not only it's not going to work, it is totally forbidden by the religion. Berdosa. Rule out the possibility at once. CINTA DAN RESTU TAK BOLEH DIPAKSA, remember?

Fourthly, learn to control yourself. Tak perlu nak buat andaian dan sangkaan yang bukan-bukan. You will end up hurting yourself. You may even lose your sanity. Get a life (if you don't have one hehe). Disract yourself, find something you like best and focus on it. Better still, if there are opportunities coming your way, if they are fine with you, grab it (this one is dedicated to my fellow players *ahaks*).

Lastly, the most important, serahkan kepada Allah dan sentiasa berdoa kepadaNya. Cukuplah Allah sebagai pelindung. Semoga diri sentiasa dalam perlindungan Allah, no matter what. Insya Allah selamat bukan sahaja di dunia, but also di akhirat.

Note : Later I found out as to bagaimana the two of them got married in the first place. At first, the husband actually terpikat kepada the wife's cousin. But the mother of the wife, dengan segala 'kemurnian dan kesucian' hati, telah memotong jalan dan men'divert'kan attention kepada anaknya. At that time, anaknya itu was having an affair with someone's husband. Nak selamatkan keadaan, anak dia yang dikahwinkan, bukan anak saudaranya. And the husband entered the marriage innocently, without any knowledge yang dia tu dah jadi bidan terjun. So, it's a case of potong jalan and hiding facts. But as it is, what goes around, comes around in the end.

Moral : Nak kahwin ni tak perlu tipu-tipu, potong jalan, play dirty, guna khidmat bomoh atau pawang. Sebab, nanti makan diri sendiri. Sendiri yang malu. Besides, teruk betul bunyinya. How pathetic and incapable are you as a woman? Tiada daya penarik, like that. *Ahaks x 1000*

Beauty

A man needs no arguments to make him discern and approve what is beautiful: it strikes at first sight, and attracts without a reason. And as this beauty is found in the shape and form of corporeal things, so also is there analogous to it a beauty of another kind, an order, a symmetry, and comeliness in the moral world. And as the eye perceiveth the one, so the mind doth by a certain interior sense perceive the other, which sense, talent, or faculty, is ever quickest and purest in the noblest minds.

~ George Berkeley

Negative Energy

Rindu adalah keindahan.

Rindu itu lumrah.

Penantian itu suatu penyiksaan dan merindu itu adalah penyiksaan nan indah.

I found these phrases in some of the malay novels I've been reading.

In a Malay version of "Laa Tahzan", a book written in Arabic, I can hereby conclude:

Termasuk kebahagiaan seorang muslim adalah jauh dari ratapan dan ungkapan kerinduan, kerana ini adalah antara penyebab kegelisahan hati.

So you see, missing someone can be a negative energy to you. I believe it is okay to miss someone - lover, friend, sibling, parent - but do not overdo it. It will lose its sweetness and may lead to pain and sufferings.

Remember, Love is gentle and kind.

NOT YOUR WIFE

Do not dictate me. I am NOT your wife.