Arrogance

In appropriate amount, arrogance is admirable, respectable and can be an asset to a man.

Excessively, it would be boring, annoying and disgusting.

EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW

This is an exclusive interview with Spectacular Wave on the subject of her Jedi Knight.

Question : Spectacular Wave, how are you doing now?
SpecWave : I am fine, thanks.

Question : Any new projects or mission?
SpecWave : You could say that, yes.

Question : Would you like to share it with us here?
SpecWave : Maybe at a later stage.

Question : So, how is this ..Jedi Knight as you call him.. how is he doing at present?
SpecWave : I really have no idea.

Question : How come? I thought he is 'the man of the moment'. You can't be feeling great not knowing how he is..
SpecWave : He is not the man of any moment. Just someone I was fortunate enough to know from a long time ago. As for feeling great, I always believe that one should never let one's happiness depend on other people. *Smiles*

Question : Does he visit your blog from time to time?
SpecWave : I do not know and it doesn't really matter but I did tell him though when I first created the blog. But he is too busy to do Internet surfing, I am sure.

Question : You mentioned in your earlier posts that the blog is dedicated to him. Why do you continue to do it if you do not think he visits your blog?
SpecWave : Because it is my blog. And yes, I dedicate this to the memory of My Jedi Knight. That he visits the blog or not is not the point. The point is, I did make my dedication, and hence that is where my memories are kept. I continue to write simply because that is my blog.

Question : Do you love him?
SpecWave : Love is a big word and subject to me. A very big one. Where my Jedi Knight is concerned, I can only say there was a degree of liking of a certain amount from my side. That was all.

Question : Why do you like him?
SpecWave : Not easy to answer that in one sentence. *Grins*

Question : You do not really care do you, if he's not around. Why is that?
SpecWave : As all of us may already knew, everything we have will eventually leave us, except Him, The Almighty.

Question : Let's just say if you do love him Spec, would you die for him? Would you die for the person you love?
SpecWave : Okay, people tend to say "I would die for the one I love" when he or she loves someone truly, myself included. But then again let's not forget that our lives are not for us to end it. This is to say it's not for us to decide when and for whom we shall die. It's all been written up above even before we were born. So, my answer would be unfortunately, it is not for me to decide.

Question : Back to your blog, I notice you haven't posted any entry on him frequently.Why?
SpecWave : I do write something on him. Not there, though.

Question: What, like, in your diary? Or other websites?
SpecWave : *Garfield Grin*

Question : What would you like to say about him on a negative note, now that you say he's too busy to surf the Internet?
SpecWave : *Grin* He is indeed fat and ugly. And ancient, too.

Question : *Smiles* What if he later finds out about what you've just said? You'd be dead.
SpecWave : 1. No worries, he won't. 2. Even if he does read it, well, truth hurts, that's all. He said that himself, fat and ugly, that is. Tehahahahahaha. There's nothing he can do.

Question : What would you like to wish him on a positive note?
SpecWave : May Allah Bless You. May The Force Be With You.

Question : Would you like to meet him in later days?
SpecWave : Maybe. I don't know. If there's a chance, maybe yes. If not, no.

Question : Should he wishes to continue whatever there was during the last time, would you agree to that?
SpecWave : I really don't think that is going to happen. Anyway, no, I don't think I would agree.

Question : Why?
SpecWave : Because he is ancient and he smells! Of sodden baby diapers! Just Kidding. Actually I don't know.

A big thank you to our Spectacular Wave, and Best Wishes in everything you do.

FOR ALL WOMANKIND... Preface

I am inspired to launch the For All Womankind series after I have been asked to give opinions, advice and if you could call it.. consultation.. from my female friends. Mostly it involves issues regarding marriage and relationship. Sometimes I do think it's kinda funny since I am not even married hence I have no experience whatsoever in that sense, let alone to advise on it.

This is nothing too serious.. just a flash of thoughts.. and I do welcome precious comments from all of you.. I really do...

The only thing that I have is observation. But, no I do not want any first hand experience of the negative side of being married. That is not to say I do not want to get married. Hahahaha.. just that.. don't get me wrong, alright. But hey, please note that I am in no hurry to get married.

Confused? Well, I bet not as confused as I was when I had to seek the reasons as to why these female friends of mine wanted to get married in the FIRST place when they could already sense the trouble coming! It was as clear as the nose on my face.

I hereby welcome all of you to join me in this series, if you could call it that, with the message Learn To Love Yourself.

Love From Me, @ Tanjung Puteri.

honey i dah bangun

earlier this morning (monday) tiba tiba teringat many years ago.. when my jedi knight was still 'on air' with me...

that one morning, masa tu tengah semester break.. i was still in bed at 9 something ke 10 macam tu.. suddenly received a text from him... it said "morning honey, i am now in the office' something like that lah..

so I replied something like "morning.. have u had ur breakfast" lebih kurang gitu lah..

came the reply "honey i dah bangun"

and i thought.. ni apa cerita ni... dah kalau kat office tu mestilah dah bangun.. why does he need to tell me that? ke.. dia salah hantar message... dia nak bagitau orang lain kot dia dah bangun, dia 'terhantar' kat i.. apa ni.. dia hantar message to another girl at the same time ke..

well.. i tak kisah la dia nak hantar kat orang lain ke apa.. it's his right entirely.. but just need to know betul ke...

so i send this: "you tersalah sms ke?"

he said "what wrong sms?"

so I called him.. i tanya dia.. apa ni you tersalah hantar sms ke.. dia kata apa yang salahnya.. i kata : you said you are in the office.. then you said you dah bangun.. dah kalau kat office tu.. mestilah dah bangun... hehehe ke you nak bagitau someone else you dah bangun and you tersalah hantar pada I?

he chuckled.. and said "no.. i was asking you.. Honey I dah bangun? "
(Syaitan betul.. memang I time cuti I bangun lambat sikit.. but he always said bangun pagi..)

I said "Oh... okay.." dan lepas tu cepat-cepat aku tukar topic lain dengan selamba.. tanya dia ada banyak meeting ke hari ini.. hehehe SMOOTH!

yang sebenarnya dalam hati tuhan je yang tahu betapa gembiranya when he said "Honey I..." yeeeeeehahhhh! I am his honey! YES! YES! POM-POM! POM-POM! tapi SENGAJA la buat endah tak endah kan.. sebab dia ni memang tersohor keegoannya.. so i am not giving him that satisfaction.. satu inci pun aku takkan beri muka hahahaha... sampai harini dia tak tau.. hohoho sampai hari dia mati pun dia takkan tau hehehehehehehheheheh...

uppsss... jahatnya....

The Soul Of Romanticism

It is supposed to be BRIGHTER than this, alright..

The signboard to the International Restaurants...
the bird is the signature icon for Danga Bay..

the view on the way to the International Restaurants..
Oh, we are not gonna eat here...
we actually wanna check out the walkpath behind it..
I like the surrounding at night...

Okay.. fellas this is not anywhere near Bukit Bintang..

the lamp...at the garden outside the restaurant...

The International Restaurants' Building - front view
Again, it is actually brighter than this...

A view from the back of the restaurant - the other side of the bay
Not sure what this is, probably the Jumbo Seafood Restaurant..

A view of the restaurant from the deck...

The walkpath opposite the restaurant..
wouldn't it be romantic to stroll along this path...
feeling the gentle sea breeze..
huhuhuhu I am hallucinating again...

I am not an incurable romantic.. but I certainly know how to appreciate and do enjoy a bit of romanticism... but I do thing walking slowly along the above path with your loved one is romantic..

this entry is actually a part of a larger entry for my Tanjung Puteri blog...

that old lingo...

i remember when i was staying with my grandma (from birth till the age of 5), in my kampung.... bila ikut my grandma bertandang ke rumah jiran.. selalu terdengar jirannya berbual with passer-by...

if they saw someone they know.. it would normally go like this "uuuuiiii nak ke mana tu wehhhh" and the reply would be.. "nak ke darattt..." or "menjenguk kebun..." normally spoken with some sort of melody... (difficult to describe here) and high-pitched voice...

it's interesting to note on how the proper language dah bertukar jadi lain... like, for example.. Jumaat.. becomes JEMAHAT.. or maaf becomes MAHAP.

you know... if someone nak minta diri nak balik ke rumah.. it goes like " aaa mahap la kita ya.. " " aaa sama la... jangan ler serik, datang la lagi..." or if it's friday.. "mak aji, singgah la dulu..." and the reply goes " tima kasih la.. lain kali lah yek.. nak balik dulu ni... arini ari jemahat... pak ajinya nak gi smayang jemahat kejap lagi...moh la ke rumah kalau lapang..."

and then there's another type who likes to tepuk-tepuk bahu orang ketika berbual... there's one here in my neighbourhood heheheh... kalau perlahan tak apa.. ini berlepuk bunyinya...

E.g:

"You tau..." (sekali tepuk) tadi i pergi pasar, I nampak si anu tu...(sekali tepuk) dengan bini baru diaaa" (sekali tepuk kuat punya).

gosh... my children shall never know this type lah.. sudah lah gossipy.. mencederakan orang pula.

Satu hal lagi, this particular lady, kalau bercerita, semua dia nak include dalam cerita dia..

"Masa haritu, mother I, sister I, auntie I, brother I, nenek I, neighbor I............."

nak saja aku tambah "baju I, hanger I, almari I, mesin basuh I..."

but the above examples are the ones in Johor state lah.. negeri lain tak tau pula sama ke tidak... as for the Muar people.. 6 years of living in Muar made me really well-versed with their lingo...

Words like Pisau, Hijau, Limau, Besar, Pasar or even Muar, adalah disebut sebagai Piso (pronounced as pi-saw). Same goes to hijo, limo, besor, pasor, Muor.

it is said Johoreans like to add "ekkk" in some sentences.

E.g. "besar, ekk rumah dia (besar, kan rumah dia)

i am not sure if it's exclusively done by Johorean or not.

yes, sometimes me and my sisters selalu gelakkan (secretly) cara-cara the elderlies bercakap.. suara halus dan nyaring... and then beria-ia.. we can't help it.. but definitely not in front of them.

Voices vs Handsome

Ever heard of this:

"kalau suara dia sedaaap sangat (over the phone), orang dia mesti tak handsome"

"kalau suara dia macam pecah rumah, orang dia GERENTI handsome"

My findings:

Yes, almost always (but not always) man yang suaranya sedap, orang itu memang not really good-looking.
E.g. My Godbroher hehehe (sorry, bro.)

And, suara yang kurang sedap, rupanya memang handsome melambung-lambung.
E.g. : 1. My Jedi Knight. Suara dia macam orang dah umur 60 years old, no joke.
2. My sister's ex-bf, Sofian aka Yan.

BUT... ada jua yang suara tak sedap dan tak hensem pun...
E.g. : My friend cum neighbour - Lan.

AND.. ada yang suara sedap dan rupa pun agak hensem...
E.g. ABANG BIRU...

Conclusion: Walaupun the far above statement selalunya applies.. tapi TIDAK SEMESTINYA. I have seen some living specimens.

Fahrin Duplicate

On my way back home from the nearby BCB, I had to make a u-turn nearby the Plaza Angsana. It was when I was driving through the interchange, I saw on my rearview mirror this gorgeous-looking man driving a Kia car (dunno which Kia). Pakai suit lak tu, macam baru balik dari court. Kot la dia ni lawyer ke sebab kat situ ada Balai Polis. Rupa dia sebijik macam Fahrin Ahmad, tak tau la kot Fahrin baru balik shooting ke apa.. Fahrin memang JB guy. Tapi mamat ni nampak cam much older probably in his thirties le gitu. Amatlah terlebih afdalnya keskeskes.

Well, I tak la minat sakan Fahrin.. just suka tengok dia in Salina 1 and Seputeh Qaseh Ramadhan hehehe kes tertengok punya hal.

Okay... for a man driving Kia, he was REAL SLOW. Kita ni punya la pecut, tukar lane sana sini hehehe member boleh hegeh-hegeh. Tak tau la kot penat sangat agaknya. Anyway as we were both approaching Jalan Skudai, baru la nampak si Fahrin Duplicate ni kengkonon nak tiru aku yang amat hebat ni, zig-zagging from one lane to another (without endangering people's life, of course). Tapi mak datuk slownya.. sia-sia bawak Kia. Agak susah juga nak usya his car reg no, dah la aku drive laju.. yang nampak cuma letters JJB hehehe. Numbers tak nampak ler. Then tiba kat simpang nak menghala seaside (kalau terus ke Jalan Tun Abdul Razak), I tengok dia pun beri signal..

Alrighttttttt... sah dan sahih dia masuk jalan yang sama... punya nak dijadikan cerita... biasa la Jalan Skudai time tu (pukul 4 lebih) dah start slow and congested.. so tak payah melambatkan kereta pun jalan tu memang dah sesak so KENA juga drive perlahan hehehe.... I nengok lepas satu, satu dia potong kereta belakang I.. yang best dia tak potong kereta I walaupun lebih daripada boleh kalau nak potong.. sebab ada dua lane hehehe... dah nak tiba simpang masuk bukit serene tu saja le buat havoc sket.. zig-zag balik.. and then stay far left sebab senang nak belok kiri.. nahh there he goes zig zag jugakk keskeskes.. pastu ada la lintasan-lintasan iblis dalam hati nak ikut dia dari belakang nak nengok dia pegi mana.. probably ke Court kot... I tak kisah sangat sebab ada 4 lagi jalan yang membolehkan aku panjat bukit serene tanpa melalui bandar JB hehehe.. biasala otai...

tapi... hehehe setelah diambil kira bahawa jalan skudai memang agak jammed dan jahanams juga time-time begitu so I pun terus balik sambil mengucapkan selamatlah engkau wahai Fahrin Duplicate, sebab melalui jalan yang bisa menyebabkan sesiapa kancing gigi pada waktu-waktu orang balik pejabat hehehe.

so I pun balik la rumah hehehe.. takpe, lain kali jumpa lagi muehehehehe.

MyKad

*Spectacularwave stands on the hilltop, screaming at the top of her lungs:

HELLO! ATTENTION PLEASE! Abang Biru, Abang Baju Kuning, ATTENTION PLEASE!!!!
I dah dapat MyKad BARU last weeeekkkkk! IC lama dah tak ada.. probably sedang dilupuskan pun.. hahahha...

I REPEAT, MyKad aku dah SIAP...brand new lagi tuuu! So please update this info. Thanks.

*Spectacularwave has left the hilltop.

One Afternoon In Tanjung Puteri

An afternoon together - MeadowSoprano, Spectacularwave And Nayniss.

Isn't She Lovely...

My Anis Farissa.... @ 9 months...

CINTA SANG RATU

Cinta Sang Ratu

laksana langit mencengkam purnama,

ibarat mutiara di lautan biru

saujana mata memandang, seluas langit terbentang

Tatkala cinta berbisik, suaranya memuji TUHAN

pabila rindu terusik, RasulNya menjadi pilihan

Sampai masanya cinta jadi taruhan

Sang Ratu menjadi impian

~ Saifudin(Laksamana Sunan)

"Sebagai manusia, aku sayang kepadamu" ~ Saifudin (Laksamana Sunan)

"Dinda, rindu kanda pada dinda umpama langit mengatapi bumi.

Kembalilah pada kanda dalam keadaan seperti dulu... seorang muslimah terpuji"

~Saifudin (Laksamana Sunan)

"Sang Ratu adalah isteri kita. Adinda Laksamana Sunan"

~Saifudin (Laksamana Sunan)

"Kandaku Sunan... hidup dan matilah kerna Allah"

~Ratna (Sang Ratu Sulaman)

"Kandaku Sunan...bangkit dan berjuanglah kerna Allah"

~Ratna (Sang Ratu Sulaman)

"...KAU anugerahkan aku dengan cinta fitrah.

Kemudian KAU jodohkan aku dengan Sang Ratu...

Kau uji aku dengan kehilangan serta kematian

dan sekarang aku hidup seperti sebatang kara.

Tapi aku tidak merasakan sedemikian kerna percaya

KAU menyayangi aku ya RABB..."

"Tiada yang sia-sia apabila aku menyerahkan jiwa dan rohku kepadaMu ya ALLAH"

~Saifudin (Laksamana Sunan)

Note: I am deeply in love with this book - Cinta Sang Ratu by Ramlee Awang Murshid. This is the sequel to Bagaikan Puteri, also by him. I know it's gonna be on my mind for days. It is simply GREAT.

PTD Exam and Abang Biru

Hari ini nak tulis dalam bahasa ibunda pula...

Berita Ringkas

1. Hari Sabtu (3 Februari 2007) saya pergi menduduki Peperiksaan Untuk Memasuki Perkhidmatan Pegawai Tadbir Dan Diplomatik. Tujuan hanya untuk melihat sendiri rupa bentuk dan suasana PTD Exam yang sering dikatakan 'amat susah' sekali oleh kebanyakan kawan-kawan. Manalah tau kalau-kalau ada rezeki kot-kot pass pulak kan. (macam nak proceed pun...) Hehehe.. my findings.. soalannya tidak sesusah mana cuma memerlukan kecekapan dan kepantasan yang tinggi terutamanya soalan matematik dan penyelesaian masalah. Pengetahuan Am mengenai Malaysia dan alam sekeliling tidak begitu rumit sebagaimana yang sering diperkatakan. Hehehe namun kerana kesilapan teknik, kertas matematik saya agak tidak memuaskan (pendapat sendiri la ni). Nasihat: Untuk sesiapa yang ingin menduduki PTD Exam ni, kalau rasa-rasa dah lama tak buat soalan maths.. cuba lah buat exercises sebanyak dan sepantas mungkin...ini yang paling menguji.. 30 soalan dalam 45 minit tanpa calculator tau. Soalan Esei BM dan BI.. bagi saya agak mudah. Topik isu semasa yang tidak begitu berat.

2. MyKad saya? Kalau nak tahu sangat, I only renewed it about 2 weeks ago. Hahahahahaha, that's how teruk I am! My NRIC was the one yang dibuat pada tahun 1995! Tapi tak kena denda pun tau, cuma processing fee RM 11 only. Belum ambil pun di JPN Johor ni. Kenapa saya cerita tentang MyKad? hahaha... nanti taulah di mana relevannya.

3. Mawi, Juara AF3 - saya tidak mengatakan Mawi seorang yang breathtakingly handsome, tetapi saya juga tidak berpendapat dia tidak handsome. He has got the looks, but not my type lah kan. Saya bukan peminat Mawi, tetapi saya tidaklah tidak menyukai Mawi. Neutral. Kenapa cerita pasal Mawi? Nanti anda akan tahu.

BERITA UTAMA

ABANG BIRU

Pagi ini saya sampai awal di pusat peperiksaan, iaitu di Dewan Besar IKM Jalan Taruka Off Jalan Datin Halimah JB. Paling best sudak terletak kereta agak jauh dari dewan. Sebab konfiden letak depan muka pintu masuk IKM, sedangkan dewan besarnya mempunyai pintu masuk sendiri.

Kertas pertama bermula jam 9 pagi, selama 45 minit, soalan Pengetahuan Am. Masa ni baik lagi.. innocent je tunduk jawab soalan, tak buang masa langsung, dengar arahan dan sebagainya lah. Habis je jawab dibenarkan keluar sebentar, next paper mula pukul 10:05 pagi. So konon sempatlah nak alihkan kereta. Punya nak jadi cerita, car park berhampiran dewan dah sesak. Salah sendiri siapa suruh tak tengok dulu. Akhirnya dapatlah selit depan tiang lampu, tak la dekat mana tapi dekat la juga dari tempat mula-mula. Eh bila masuk dewan semula tengok orang dah sibuk isi slip kehadiran etc. Apa lagi kelam kabut isi, rumit lah juga borang OMR ni kan... geram betul. Paper kedua ni Matematik Dan Penyelesaian Masalah. Like I said earlier, tak berapa baik kot I buat, lambat masuk punya pasal. Anyway I jawab semua.. hehehehe OMR kan... tak sempat, tanda saja (jangan ikut tau).

Haaaa.. halfway through Paper kedua ni lah.. I made an interesting discovery. Suatu penemuan yang menjadikan hari ini (Sabtu 3 Februari 2007) sebagai hari yang diisytiharkan sebagai MERIAH. MERIAH bukan sebab saya dapat jawab soalan dengan baik.. tapi, sebab masa tengah bosan sebab saya dah tau tak akan sempat habis paper Maths ni, apa lagi mata mulalah melilau sana sini (tapi secara terkawal) untuk menghilangkan tension dan bosan sebab tak cukup masa. Struggle macam mana pun memang tak akan dapat punyalah, so well life goes on.

Tengah mata melilau, nampak this one invigilator. Mula-mula ingatkan Mawi. Memang style rambut, skin color, features memang very Mawily lah kan. Tapi setelah di zoom in kan, evidently invigilator ni lebih macho, dan lebih good-looking dari Mawi. Tak tinggi mana (huhuhu) but slightly taller than me, I would say.. so.. okaylah. YANG PALING BEST, bila dia mampir untuk collect my attendance slip, bila saya ucapkan terima kasih (masa ni tak ada niat apa-apa), terdengar dia balas "Sama".. humang aiiii sumpahhh suara dia best giler.. macho lagi gentleman.. tenang je...Wallawwweiii... Terbukak luas mata yang mengantuk ni.. (tapi saya seorang sajalah yang tau) Yes, I am very good at controlling my facial expression in this kind of situation. It takes a VERY trained eyes to notice if I am up to something. Tapi tidak kelihatan macam orang control ayu whatsoever. According to my friends, selalunya I akan nampak seperti orang yang sedang deeply involved with my task(heheh) and indifferent to my surroundings. Means memang nampak khusyuk lah kan, walhal my senses macam parabola hehehe. Natural skills, people!

Okay, from this moment onwards semangat sudah datang semula. Chewah, kononnya sibuk la menjawab soalan.. dah agak lama tunduk menjawab soalan, angkat lah muka kan.. toleh kiri kanan kononnya lenguh la tu, padahal Surround Scan! hahahaha pandai-pandai la balancing.. toleh kiri then kanan.. nak idup beb. Ada la beberapa kali terpandang muka si Abang Biru ni.. muka yang sangat tenang, macho. Senyum je, tapi tak lah annoying smile. Cool smile. Tapi aku yang amat hipokrit ni cuma balas dengan 'senyum budak tengah amik exam'.

Oh, lupa nak kata, agak pelik juga kerana all invigilators tak pakai name tag, so saya tak dapatlah tahu nama invigilator yang pakai baju dan seluar biru gelap (almost macam hitam) tu. Nak panggil Dark Lord tak sampai hati, so jadilah Abang Biru.

Next paper, Pengertian dan Kefahaman Esei. Paper ni, 4 passages, 2 Malay and 2 English. 20 questions, 5 for each passage. Like Feisal said, "itu semua sebelah mata". Bukan lah berlagak tapi, inilah yang paling senang sekali. Tapi, for english, quite tricky kalau mengantuk habislah. Yang kelakar tu, punyalah takut tak cukup masa (yalah since dah berkobar-kobar nak buat paper.. Abang Biru punya pasal lah ni) saya boleh habis buat dalam masa 20 minit! Ada 15 minit berbaki. Apa lagi.. semak la konon-konon.. mata pula macam jackpot.. surround scan lagi hahahahaha.

Habis paper ni saya ke belakang dewan nak ke ladies. So ikut la lane nan amat panjang tu ke belakang. Susah nama kita bermula di awal abjad.. sengsara nak keluar dewan.. dah agak ke belakang.. rezeki lah nak terserempak dengan si Biru ni.. dia dah senyum la, siap berenti ke tepi lah kan.. i thought he wants to let me jalan dulu.. again, I smiled courteously, anggukkan kepala and smoothly walked to the next lane kira konon tak mahu ganggu invigilator nak buat kerja la... ikut jalan lain la.. kahkahkahkahkah...

then sambung paper Esei Bahasa Melayu.. time ni bila nak abis Abang Biru bagi benang untuk ikat kertas jawapan hehehe. Again say thank you. Di balas "Sama-sama". Yeeha! Then balik for lunch, memula ingat tak mau balik.. tapi rindu lak kat si Anis.. so balik juga, lunch sama-sama dengan Anis and rushed back. Masa drive balik rumah nak lunch tu, patutnya saya memikirkan kertas seterusnya iaitu Esei Bahasa Inggeris. Ho jangan harap. Saya memikirkan bagaimana cara untuk mengetahui nama Si Abang Biru tu, dalam masa yang amat suntuk tu. Yalah, habis exam that's it lah. Mana nak jumpa lagi exam sehari jerk. Ditakdirkan failed pun belum tentu next intake dia yang jaga. Tapi ada macam terasa nak ambil je lagi kalau fail. For Abang Biru's sake (jahatnya aku). Dapatlah pula idea, how if I asked him "Encik, kalau saya tanya satu soalan, boleh tak? " "Apa dia?" "Tapi not exam-related" "Apa dia?" "Encik ni saudara Mawi ke?" hahahaha.. siap plan nak tanya lepas segala paper habis, kalau dia pissed boleh terus blah hehe. Saya memang berani, tapi berani plan je.. buat belum tau.

Lepas lunch dah agak lambat, main ngan si Anis punya hal la. Bawa kereta macam taufan konon tak mahu late for exam, sebenarnya tak nak late for surround scan. Sedih, sampai-sampai semua invigilators dah ada.. tapi Abang Biru tak nampak kelibat. Pandai-pandai buat assumption.. mula-mula ingat dia tak ada shift petang.. tapi bila pikir balik, mana ada gitu.. suka-suka pula tukar shift. Then, sangka baik la, dia masih solat kot. Hehe shortly before papers were distributed nampaklah si Biru tu. Senanglah hati. Masa dia nak check again and collect my attendance slip, siap angkat IC lama saya, check nak tengok details, yalah nak verify ngan attendance slip. Eleh sebenarnya nak ketawakan lah kan IC lama. Masa nilah saya notice si Biru ni dah semakin wangi. Tak lain mesti dia 'refresh' kan cologne spray dia. lebih lebih sikit.. mak ai sangat vain.. ingatkan ladies saja yang touch-up after lunch.. rupanya Abang Biru pun sama.. Hidup Abang Biru! Wangi sey, Abang Biru. Banyak kali la dia lalu-lalang kat sebelah saya, tapi mahaplah tak dapat detect perfume apa dia guna. Sibuk buat esei on ineffective parenting.

last sekali paper is test on Sahsiah Diri. Time ni pun best sebab banyak kali Abang Biru lalu kat sebelah dan depan. adala dalam 20 minit nak abis masa.. ada satu invigilator ni saya panggil dia Baju Kuning sebab dia pakai baju warna kuning. Dia boleh perasan lak NRIC lama saya tu. Ada ke patut dia dengan sedikit gelak berkata "Kenapa tak tukar IC tu?" And I replied "Sudah, cuma belum ambil yang baru". Dia senyum, saya rasa nak belasah cukup-cukup. Apa tidaknya, ada 178 soalan, saya separuh belum, dia sibuk tanya NRIC!! Sudahlah soalan psikologi amat mengelirukan, needs total focus. Jap lagi saya notice Abang Biru ni beramah mesra pula dengan member sebelah saya masa dia nak collect kertas member yang dah sudah jawap. Hehehehe tak guna, dengan saya haram tak mau tegur. Tapi memang salah sendiri lah, siapa suruh buat macam tak interested, padanlah muka sendiri kan. Sekejap lagi si Baju Kuning lalu lagi dan kata, tukar lah IC tu, nanti kena denda pula, dengan senyum-senyum dia. Geram betul. Nak saja tanya, "You ni syok kat I ke?" But as usual, berani plan je.. buat jangan harap hahaha. Oh ya, masa tengah jawap tu ada la nampak si ABang Biru ni lalu kat luar, ambil angin ke apa.. betul2 mengadap kereta hamba yang berjaya diletakkan berhampiran dewan selepas lunchtime tadi. YES! hehehehe.

Then masa tengah jawab soalan sahsiah diri tu, ada satu soalan membuatkan saya betul-betul tersengih sendiri tanpa dapat ditahan-tahan. Hahahaha sebenarnya nak ketawa tau tapi mana boleh kan. Soalan dia, format dia kalau pernyataan ini berkenaan diri anda, sila tandakan A, jika tidak berkaitan dengan diri anda, tandakan B. Pernyataan yang sungguh kelakar tu, ialah: Saya mempunyai masa-masa tertentu di mana saya merasa sangat gembira tanpa sebarang sebab yang khusus. Tak taulah kenapa, hati ni terasa terlampau geli hati.. ada ke orang yang macam tu, eh? Tak pasal-pasal happy je hehehe.

Masa dah habis buat exam, linger juga for a while.. tak pula nampak kelibat si Biru tu sebelah depan.. toleh belakang tak berjaya detect. Last-last hantar lah kertas tu.. dan si Kuning tu sibuk remind tentang IC untuk kesekian kalinya. Then masa nak jalan keluar, dengan penuh anggun lagi cool, ternampak si Biru ni sedang rancak berbual with this one lady, dah habis buat paper, dan sibuk berborak with Abang Biru ku itu. Hmmmmmm.. tak apalah.. what to do hehehe.. dah nasib kan.. isk isk.. so keluar je la dewan dengan hati yang agak sedih walaupun saya sedar saya tak perlu bersedih. Hehehe... then masa nak masuk kereta tu saja la lambat sket.. jeling gak kat pintu dewan kot la si Biru tu keluar ambil angin. Negative. Agak-agak enjin kereta dah warm-up, air con pun dah sejuk, saya get ready nak balik... sempat lagi tu pakai senjata ampuh.. my sunglass.. so dengan tabah hati, reverse lah kereta buat 3-point turn. Sajalah reverse hala ke dewan.. hehehe.

Time tengah nak turn menghala jalan keluar, di rearview mirror nampak si Biru keluar dewan hehehe kalau betul pemerhatian saya, dia memang memandang ke arah kereta saya, confirmed sebab saya saja yang berada dalam haluan pandangannya itu. Ceh tak sia-sia sarungkan sunglasses. boleh usya dia dari mirror.. bukan dia tau mata kita focus mana hehehehehe

tak jadi la bersedih.. hehehe dengan happynya drive balik ke rumah, perjalanan tak sampai 20 minit.. later ada gak keluar konon nak beli paper di town nearby the exam center.. saja kot la dia gi minum lepas habis tugas hehehe.. gila, gila... apa apa pun syukur Alhamdulillah atas kemeriahan satu hari ini, di hati ini dipanjatkan doa agar dipertemukan lagi.. Amin Ya Rabbal Alamin... YES! I Won! It ended with him looking at me! YES! YES ! YES!

Mak,panjangnya entry ni.. but all for you Abang Biru.. especially for you. Kalau memang Allah izinkan, entry ini akan dijumpai juga oleh Abang Biru walaupun saya tak kenal dia, dan tiada cara untuk mengenali. ( tapi kalau dia bijak, dia sempat la rembat contact details aku kat attendance slip, siap dengan mobile number hahahaha... nasib baik kat IC tak letak mobile number hehehehe).

OCEAN DEEP

Love cant you see I'm alone

Cant you give this fool a chance

A little love is all I ask - a little kindness

In the night

Please dont leave me behind

No - dont tell me love is blind

A little love is all I ask

and that is all

Oh love I've been searching so long

I've been searching high n low

A little love is all I ask - a little sadness

When you're gone

Maybe you need a friend

Only please don't let's pretend

A little love is all I ask

and that is all

I wanna spread my wings - but I just cant fly

As a string of pearls

and pretty girls go sailing by

Ocean deep - I'm so afraid to show my feelings

I have sailed a million ceilings

- in my -Solitary room

Ocean deep - will I ever find a lover

Maybe he has found another

And as I cry myself to sleep

I know this love of mine I'll keep - ocean deep

Love cant you hear when I call

Can't you hear a word I say

A little love is all I ask

A little feeling when we touch

Why am I still alone?

I've got a heart without a home

A little love is all I ask

- and that is all

I wanna spread my wings

- but I just cant fly

As a string of pearls

and pretty girls go sailing by

Ocean deep - I'm so afraid to show my feelings

I have sailed a million ceilings

- in my -Solitary room

Ocean deep - will I ever find a lover

Maybe he has found another

And as I cry myself to sleep

I know this love of mine I'll keep - ocean deep

Im so lonely lonely lonely...

Why can't I...

Earlier on Wednesday I saw the untouched pile of daily newspapers in our living room a little thicker than usual. I decided to check on it and found out the newspaper man has mistakenly included a newspaper that we do not subscribe daily.

Then I decided to read it and compensate the newspaper man tomorrow for the price. I hate to think that today, he will not have sufficient newspapers to distribute to the subscribers. He may even have to pay for it out of his salary.

I know that wasn't my fault or my problem but when I thought of how sometimes people made little mistake and somebody made good of it, and I tell myself why can't I do the same? I have had my share of chances last time, why can't I do the same to other people?

Yeah people can just say.. "eh, what for you wanna pay, his company is already rich.. etc.." well it is not the company i am concerned about, it's the man, the newspaper man.. who knows what sort of hardships he is going through everyday to deliver newspapers to us here..

a couple of years back I was upset for days when I learned that our newspaper man at that time passed away in an accident when delivering newspapers.. i just cannot explain why, but i was really upset...