Some people have issues about this Dato' and Datin thing. Some would even spend a fortune to acquire the title. Some don't even care. Some holders of the title are good, and the rest are of course, the complete opposite.
I believe we should treat people with the amount of respect they deserve. Just because a person is a Dato' or a Datin, you should not expect yang bukan bukan from them. Neither should you be prejudice of them. I mean, there is this type of people, yang suddenly berkata "aku bukan heran pun dia dato' ke, anak dato' ke" for no reason at all. Trust me, I have witnessed such situation. A new employee came in, and just because words got around that that person is "anak dato'", people terus get insecure and say things..
Why can't people treat people normally and nicely? Is pleasantry and politeness too much a trouble? I just don't belong to this group. Plain and simple. I cannot see why a person has to judge someone he or she does not know. Strange enough there are many people like that. Too many. I don't know what makes them think they are so good that they can simply make assumptions on anything or anyone. I don't like them. Oh, while we're on that, I also don't like office politics. Simply because I do not kiss ass (forgive the expression).
Back to the subject, well, apalah nak susah susah.. should you meet a dato', or a datin, respect them, as you would respect another human being. If a friend or a neighbour or anyone has been decorated with the title, congratulate them. If you are honored to receive the title, accept it, and don't forget to bersyukur, of course. If not, tak payahlah nak dengki atau buruk sangka kepada yang ada. Kalau diaorang ni betul mengada ngada, taji ajelah hehehe.
There is no use of berhasad dengki dan berprasangka. After all, semuanya hanya untuk sementara. We will not be assessed in the akhirat based on this title.
Speaking of titles, I do not know how a Dato' and his Datin would be addressed in functions in other places in Malaysia. But in my hometown, they would address them in invitations as
Kepada:
YB Dato' Johari Adzam & Datin.
If the invitation is for Datin alone, they used to address it like:
Kepada:
YDH Datin Dato' Johari Adzam.
Even in the list of committee members, they used to do that. Style Mat Salleh hehehehe.
I don't know but I found that a bit funny. Imagine when they annouce the arrival.. bila announce ada nama lelaki.. yang tiba perempuan.. kahkahkahkahkah.
But for now, they have altered it a bit. They will officially address a datin as follows:
YDH Datin Hanna (Johari Adzam)
So you see, the name of the husband appears in bracket. This is far better, I think.
Of all Dato's and Datins in my hometown, there is this one particular Dato' that I like and admire. This is not to say I syok kat dia or anything. He is my best friend pun.. But I really like his style.. most unassuming. In my hometown, he is unique, a different kind of Dato', you would say.
I had his consent to talk about him in my blog, so here is why I like Julian's style so much. He has a long name, but I call him Julian. His mother is English, and his Dad Malay. Both of them live in England now, but for reasons unclear to anyone, si Julian ni suka sangat dengan JB city. So, whenever he is in Malaysia, he resides in his parents' house in JB. In his forties, Julian travelled a great deal, for he is a successful businessman.
The most beautiful thing about him is that he is so humble, simple and down-to-earth. And funny too. But more importantly is the way he dress. The man is gorgeous... so damn extremely gorgeous and handsome.. the man is crazy. When you say "Dato", in JB one would mentally picture a middle-aged man, dressed smartly in suit, or in expensive kemeja batik, or baju melayu teluk belanga. But Julian.. he is comfortable in his jeans.. and t-shirt.. and still looks dashing. Oh and ada juga dia pakai baju and seluar yang rugged (tak tau nak panggil apa).
When in formal functions, he would dress appropriately, of course, but off-the-scene, he is an Adonis. Made all the models dim in comparison.
Married? Yes, he was. But he has been on his own for the last 10 years. Poor Julian. Once, he said to me, "Susah susah you ajelah jadi wife I, Su". My instant reply was "Tak nak lah, nanti I kena belajar masak ikan". For Julian loves to eat fish and vegetables. Vegetables, I don't mind, sumpah I don't. But fish, ever since I had bad experience years ago when I was attempting to cook a Mackerel in England, I have resigned from even learning to cook lauk yang ada ikan. Even if my Mom yang masak, I bukan makan semua ikan. My fav would be Steamed Fish and Ikan Bawal Masak Tomato. The rest, I am fine with Ikan Masak Gulai Merah or Masak Lemak Cili Api. Yang lain? SORRRYYYY. Ikan Parang? Mintak Mahap, lagi baik I main Playstation daripada membuang tulang tulangnya. If I am to be Julian's wife, alamatnya hari hari u makan fish fillet lah Julian oi... heheheheh.
But we are very close. Very close friends. We share everything. Long time ago, he indicated that he would want to be closer than what we were having. But even then that was not possible. It's not that I did not want to. But I was never available. I was already with someone. I tried to be as good a friend as I could be, because I did not feel good letting him down. He is a great guy. A very loving man, a wise one. A gentleman. And we are so good together. Probably because of the age difference.. Every time Julian balik, I tried to be in JB in during weekends. Best dengar cerita dia travel. Kutuk dia pun best heheheheheh. Sorry, Julian. But we do what we could, went jogging at the beach, lepak at Singgah Selalu, went to borong DVD at Holiday Plaza, explore all the roads in JB..
To Julian, I hope you find your Datin soon.. someone to accompany you everywhere, someone to come home to, someone to care for you when you are not well, someone who knows how to cook fish (hehe) and most important, someone who loves you for yourself, Julian...
Tunku Ismail with Tunku Mahkota Johor and Tunku Abu Bakar (Bubu) with the Johoreans.
