When The Husband Is Silent

A good friend of mine mengadu hal yang her hubby's not like before. For the record they were married last year and she gave birth to their first baby on February. And according to her, her husband "sudah tidak banyak bercakap tetapi dengan baby okay pula, boleh bermesra".

Earlier she complained that her husband 'never called her at home to ask about her and the baby.' She is still in confinement and would be back to work in another week or so. And she also said bila weekend sahaja he would go play 'golf, golf and golf. Sudahlah weekdays pun main golf'.

I don't know but to me it does not really sound like a big problem.

I told my friend, husband dia tu responsible for the whole family business. Jadi, banyaklah perkara dalam fikirannya, banyaklah pula agaknya things to be settled. Kalau dia bermain-main dengan baby tu, itu biasalah.. surely dia ingat his wife is more understanding, faham yang dia penat, busy and all. Baby kecil lagi, so kenalah berikan perhatian yang lebih.

About not making conversation, I suggested to her that if the husband diam, why not you start.. kalau memang nampak dia nak rest dan tak mahu bercakap banyak then biarkanlah. Maybe he needs some time alone. Kalau dia tak call rumah tanya tentang baby, I katakan yang dia kenalah berikan husband nya time.. bukan semua new dad tahu apa yang perlu dilakukan... especially young fathers.. mungkin ada husbands yang pandai, tetapi tidak semua sama.. mungkin as a father dia ada keistimewaan lain.. we'll never know.

Golf.. well.. kalau itu minatnya tak apalah... I told her kalau you dah sayangkan dia, accept saja yang itu hobby dia.. as long as dia betul-betul di golf course tak apa. And kalau tidak.. well..kayu golf pun boleh makan tuan what hehehehe...

Also, I told her, mungkin you dalam pantang ni tak keluar ke mana-mana itu yang sensitive sikit. Esok dah kerja semula mesti okay.

What if it's my own husband?

As I was talking to my sister, we talked about the possibilities kalau-kalau our husbands later jadi begitu. (my sister pun kenal baik dengan this friend of mine so she knows).

I told my sis, kena tengok dulu macamana.. sebab entah-entah kalau dia balik rumah bukan dia sahaja yang tak mahu cakap banyak, maybe I pun, especially kalau tengah bad mood pasal office ke. And it's a good thing kalau ada baby.. adalah juga tempat dia nak berbual hehehehe. Sebab I ni jenis yang kalau tengah bad mood memang tak suka bercakap langsung.

Also, to me, you nak cakap, cakap. Tak mahu it's okay. You wanna call me at home to ask about me and the baby, I appreciate it. That's really sweet. Kalau tidak, I am not about to remind you all the time. Yalah, kalau nak bercakap dengan kita atau suruh call kita pun sampai nak kena suruh, to me that is not natural lagi dah. Tak adalah sweet nya lagi. But this is just me. Tapi I takkan melawan or tunjuk perasaan. I am fine. Insya Allah.

It's really because of the kind of person that I am agaknya. I am a natural loner. By choice. So, silence, or lack of company or attention is always fine. Tak ada hal punya hehehe. I am always occupied hahahaha. Adalah juga risiko my husband would feel 'diabaikan' in the sense that he would not be really missed kalau outstation ke apa...hehehe.. nasiblah... especially kalau time F1 season..

But if he's tired, needs some time alone ke.. pening ke.. no problem.. I would biarkan aje dia.. if you need my company, just say so.. nanti esok-esok dia okay lah tu... kalau tak okay juga pandai-pandai kaulah bagi okay hehehe.. yang pentingnya kita kena tahu when to stay close or when to give him some space...

I nak jalan you tak ada masa nak bawa I, husband? I pergi sendiri, I am not about to wait for you at home sulking. That is so not me. Cuma, kalau tiada masa nak bawa, just give the consent. That's all. Kot tak kang jadi derhaka lak aku kan.

Hobbies? You have all the freedom, husband, as long as you are truthful and sincere.

Wanna cheat on me? You can try, but please, for the love of God, do not let me find out or see anything....cover your tracks really well. Be smart.

Last but not least.. my policy in the event of infidelity : Let the one who is unfaithful be the one who cries blood.