Star Wars Episode 3 : Revenge Of The Sith

Obi-Wan: You have allowed this Dark Lord to twist your mind until now... until now you have become the very thing you swore to destroy.

Obi-Wan: You were the chosen one. It was said that you would destroy the Sith, not join them. You were to bring balance to the force, not leave it in darkness.

Anakin Skywalker: I hate you.

Obi-Wan: You were my brother, Anakin. I loved you.

Anakin & Padme

Lightsaber Duel - Anakin & Obi-Wan @ Mustafar

Anakin becomes Darth Vader

I hope all of you would enjoy watching this Episode 3 of Star Wars tonight at Star Movies, 10 pm tonite.

I love Anakin, Padme, and Jedi Masters Obi-Wan, Wendu and Yoda.
Owh, and I like Senator Organa too. Macho.

Yoda: Premonitions, premonitions. These visions you have...
Anakin Skywalker: They are of pain, suffering. Death.
Yoda: Yourself you speak of, or someone you know?
Anakin Skywalker: Someone.
Yoda: Close to you?
Anakin Skywalker: Yes.
Yoda: Careful you must be when sensing the future Anakin. The fear of loss is a path to the dark side.
Anakin Skywalker: I won't let these visions come true, Master Yoda.
Yoda: Death is a natural part of life. Rejoice for those around you who transform into the Force. Mourn them do not. Miss them do not. Attachment leads to jealousy. The shadow of greed that is.
Anakin Skywalker: What must I do, Master Yoda?
Yoda: Train yourself to let go... of everything you fear to lose.

Salam Aidiladha, Happy New Year and Welcome to MALAYSIA

Wishing all of my Muslim friends and viewers a Selamat Hari Raya Aidiladha.

Wishing every precious viewer a Happy New Year. Best Wishes In Every Future Undertakings and May Allah Bless Us All. Have A Wonderful Year Ahead.

To my friends abroad, the Year 2007 is the Visit Malaysia Year. Allow me to say this : To Know Malaysia, Is To Love Malaysia.. so...

Welcome To Malaysia With Arms Wide Open!

Something To Share

From Berita Harian Online,

Doa perisai hadapi sebarang bencana

Oleh Ahmad Tarmizi Zakaria


DOA adalah satu permintaan atau permohonan seseorang Muslim kepada Allah SWT bertujuan memperoleh sesuatu yang dihajati. Doa sebagai satu senjata umat Islam sering kita lupakan terutama ketika menghadapi pelbagai masalah sepanjang kehidupan di dunia ini.

Doa seperti ditegaskan oleh Rasulullah sebagai 'senjata' kepada orang mukmin perlu disedari dan dihayati sepenuhnya oleh umat Islam. Doa menjadi tanda kepada perhambaan seorang manusia kepada Allah iaitu dengan cara merintih dan merayu kepada-Nya serta mengadu segala hal dan permasalahan dengan air mata berlinangan tanpa mengharapkan pertolongan selain daripada Allah sebagai Tuhan yang Maha Mendengar dan Mengasihani hamba-Nya.

Sesungguhnya, persoalan doa bukan sekadar fungsinya sebagai cara pengaduan kepada Allah tetapi juga turut diiktiraf sebagai ibadah yang amat agung. Ini bertepatan dengan firman Allah SWT yang bermaksud:

"Dan katakanlah (wahai Muhammad), berdoalah kepada-Ku. Nescaya Kumakbulkan permintaanmu. Sesungguhnya mereka yang takbur dan enggan beribadat kepada-Ku akan dicampakkan ke dalam neraka Jahanam yang perit azabnya." (Surah al-Ghafir: ayat 60)

Dalam ayat itu, Allah menerangkan doa adalah satu wasilah pengaduan seseorang hamba kepada Tuhannya yang dijamin akan diperkenankan permintaan itu sama ada di dunia ini disegerakan permintaan itu) atau di akhirat (ditangguhkan atau diberikan pahala kepadanya atas ibadah doa dikerjakan).

Doa memainkan peranan penting melembutkan hati dan dibukakan jalan untuk mendapat hidayah Allah. Bukan semua orang yang Allah berikan keinginan untuk berdoa dan menadah tangannya di hadapan Allah, bahkan ramai malas dan berdoa hanya sekadar untuk mencukupkan syarat tanpa rasa gerun dan takut kepada Allah; tunduk dan merasai kehebatan dan keagungan-Nya serta penuh pengharapan di hadapan Allah.

Apabila malas berdoa mula melebar dalam diri kita, perlu melakukan muhasabah ke dalam hati kita, mungkin ada yang tidak kena atau ada perkara menghalang sehingga kita tidak dapat merasai kemanisan berdoa.

Doa dilafazkan oleh seseorang Muslim itu amat mustajab dan mampu mendatangkan kesan dengan izin Allah. Selain itu, seseorang Muslim harus sedar keengganannya untuk berdoa kepada Allah akan menyebabkan kemurkaan Allah kepadanya. Apabila seseorang itu memohon kepada selain daripada Allah ketika dalam kesulitan, dia dianggap mensyirikkan Allah.

Di samping itu, keengganannya juga menggambarkan takbur dan merasakan diri sudah cukup tanpa memerlukan pertolongan daripada Allah. Ia jelas bertentangan dengan prinsip kehambaan seorang hamba terhadap tuannya apatah lagi terhadap Allah yang Pencipta sekalian alam.

Allah menjadikan doa sebagai perisai kepada golongan mukmin dan mereka yang sentiasa mengharapkan keredaan-Nya. Dalam beberapa riwayat ada dinyatakan golongan yang doa mereka amat mustajab dan dikabulkan oleh Allah. Antara yang tergolong dalam golongan ini ialah :

Pertama; mereka yang dizalimi. Ia termasuklah golongan yang dihina, dihalau daripada tempat kediaman mereka tanpa hak atau bentuk kezaliman yang lain; kedua; golongan yang bermusafir untuk tujuan yang baik; ketiga; doa kedua-dua ibu bapa kepada anaknya, dan keempat; doa mereka yang menunaikan ibadah haji atau umrah.

Di sini jelas betapa mereka yang berada dalam situasi sedemikian sememangnya Allah muliakan dan doa mereka juga dijanjikan oleh Allah akan dimakbulkan selagi tidak membawa kepada maksiat atau kejahatan.

Selain itu, doa yang mustajab juga ialah doa daripada seorang sahabat kepada sahabatnya yang lain kerana Allah; dan sahabatnya itu tidak mengetahui bahawa dia sedang didoakan oleh seseorang. Di samping itu, individu yang mendoakan sahabatnya itu juga akan diberikan ganjaran dan diberikan kebaikan seperti dia mendoakan sahabatnya itu.

Setiap Muslim perlu memahami doa dimakbulkan oleh Allah atas permintaan hamba-Nya itu adakalanya dikurniakan berdasarkan apa yang dimintanya atau dipaling iaitu menjauhkan daripadanya sesuatu kejahatan setaraf dengan doanya itu atau Allah menangguhkan dahulu permohonan hamba itu untuk dijadikan sebagai pahala pada akhirat kelak.

Rasulullah bersabda bermaksud: "Tiada seorang Muslim berdoa tidak mengandungi dosa atau mengarah kepada pemutusan hubungan kekeluargaan, melainkan Allah akan mengurniakan baginya salah satu daripada tiga keadaan, iaitu (1) segera dikabulkan doanya; (2) disimpan untuk diberikan di akhirat; (3) atau kerana doanya itu maka Allah menjauhkan dia daripada kesulitan.”

A Jedi Shall Not Know Anger. Nor Hatred. Nor Love.

What did I do on Christmas Eve?

I watched SMV Channel, none other than my fav Star Wars II : Attack Of The Clones.

I sat in the living room with Nayniss watching the movie, and was later joined by her Pa & Ma. Nayniss then slept peacefully on my lap and only woke up for her milk. Ah.. my Jedi Youngling..

I love Anakin & Padme.. CUTE!

MERRY CHRISTMAS

To my beloved friends and precious viewers of this blog who celebrate Christmas, Have A Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Christmas Holiday...

Not forgetting a card to London...

Memories With Him

Like I said.. we had great time... too bad the differences between us is inevitable.. plus.. he is not exactly my kinda man.. I wish him a happy life.. I sincerely do...

Christmas - Memories In England

I always love England.. England is always special to me, been to England since I was 6.. on and off.. in fact, England is like my second home...

When I was there in 1997, I met him.. the person I referred to earlier.. whom I had a relationship with, whom I left.. because apparently things won't work out between us.. but we had great time together..

Yeah, my one and only window.. the window of my room in the Hall Of Residence. God knows how I miss it! With attached bathroom,mind you...miss the room even now.. It was from this window I stared outside on one snowy night in 1997, the temperature was minus 10. It was from this window I thought of him... wonder how he is now.. but I am sure he is happy.

My study table.. look at all the law books.. and it's only at the beginning of Year 1.. more books were bought later on...urghh memories.. memories...

The other side of the wall.. very basic and simple, aint'it?

Yes, at this time belum tahu where to shop for things sangat.. belum 'mengganas' lagi heeehee..

And pretty lonely too.. coz I always take some times to be comfortable with friends..

But the Malaysian students were all wonderful to me, Allah bless them.

Note: Huhuhu... ignore the dates on the photo.. time tu tak reti nak set the camera date pun.. the year was 1997, not 1994.

Juz Zarith

Was at Plaza Angsana two nights ago. Noticed there's a new boutique called Juz Zarith.. took a peek and found that it is the kind of boutique I love.. exclusive yet welcoming.. great items.. sophisticated elegant items.. will surely get something from Juz Zarith..

One question, is it related in any way to the Crown Princess Raja Zarith Sofiah? I have no way of knowing, but JZ is great.

And, I am proud of the effort by the Crown Princess in helping the flood victims in Johor. 'Turun Padang' is the accurate word to describe her effort and concern.

The Worst Flood Ever

The worst flood ever since 1950s, that's what they say...

My relatives in my kampung in Segamat ramai yang rumah mereka ditenggelami air dengan teruknya, ada yang tenggelam seluruh rumah hingga ke bumbung...

We wanted to go back, to check on our grandmother's house... kabar beritanya ditenggelami juga, walaupun tidak seluruhnya.. hanya di tingkat bawah.. walaupun Atok tidak lagi menetap di sana, the house is being maintained and we still balik kampung and stay there during Raya... tapi apakan daya.. for now we can only enter Segamat by boat or by helicopter.. hujan pun menampakkan tanda-tanda akan berterusan... tak taulah bila akan dapat ke sana..

Ya Allah, ampunilah dosa-dosa kami, Alhamdulillah atas hujan rahmatmu, peliharalah kami daripada segala bencana dan mala petaka, tabah dan tenangkanlah kami dan masukkanlah kami ke dalam rahmatMu, Ya Allah Yang Maha Pengampun Lagi Maha Pengasih...

Ucapan Takziah

Assalamualaikum,

Ucapan takziah buat sahabat kita Wan Amalyn di atas kembalinya kakak Wan Amalyn, Wan Roseliza binti Ab. Ghani ke rahmatullah pada 19 Disember 2006, kerana kemalangan.

Semoga Allah menempatkan Allahyarhamah bersama dengan orang-orang yang solehah dan beriman dan semoga rohnya dicucuri rahmat.

Untuk Wan, semoga sentiasa beroleh ketenangan. Allah amat menyayangi kakak Wan dan kini dia sudah selamat bersama Penciptanya. Dia tiada di sisi Wan, namun dia tetap ada di tempat lain.

Al-Fatihah buat Allahyarhamah.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Buat tatapan bersama,

Fadhilat Membaca Surah Al-Waaqi'ah
- Jika dibacakan kepada orang yang sedang sakit, insya Allah akan ringanlah sakitnya.
- Jika dibacakan di hadapan orang yang sedang nazak, insya Allah akan memudahkan sakaratulmautnya.
- Jika dibacakan untuk ahli kubur, insya Allah akan meringankan siksa kuburnya.

Buku Baru Saya

Sekali baca macam tajuk karangan murid tahun dua, huh? 'Buku Baru Saya'. Nasib baik tak 'Saya Punya Buku Baru'.

Yes, these are my latest addition to my bookshelf - for story books. Sibuk juga risik di e-bay nak cari one or two english ones. Set an eye on The Broker by John Grisham. Am looking for another one, tak tau lagi yang mana. Also, belum tau how and where to get it. Might be via e-bay, or Popular.

Creepy

Was it my imagination or was it the real thing that minutes ago, as I was sitting here in front of the monitor by the window, typing, that I heard voices outside this window.. it's like it's coming from the tree nearby the balcony. Bunyi suara merintih sayu.. and a little while later, the sound of something sort of like flying away from the tree. Seperti daun baru terlepas dari lenturan. Oh my, this really gives me the creeps... THANK GOD EVERYBODY IS BACK AND I AM NOT ALONE. Two days ago, I was alone here. Seriously alone. Noone's home.

Imagination? NO. I heard it, juz not sure what it was.

A bit on Mitosastras..

Mitosastras December 19, 2006, 10:30 p.m., TV3

Tonight, suka sangat tengok Mitosastras. Esp the part where Melina cuba nak attack Feliza when Feliza walked out of a mosque. When Mel tried to hit Feliza, suddenly Mel collapsed, macam ada something pushed her..

Evidently Feliza agak religious dan mendalami Islam. This can be seen when Mel woke up from pengsan in Feliza's house, dia ternampak Feliza sedang berwuduk. Then she found lots of books on Islam in Feliza's house. Rasanya after this Mel pun akan ikut jejak Feliza. Mel then told Feliza, no wonder Hazali and Amran suka kan Feliza..Feliza baik hati dan terpuji.. but Feliza quickly denied any relationship with them.

Tonite tak ada Amran, but banyak scene yang ada Pak Mito. And Mitosastras is indeed suatu ajaran yang berpandukan sekular tanpa membelakangkan Al-Quran. I wonder if there's such thing in real life, and if yes, whether it is syar'iah compliant. Tak berani nak komen pasal aqidah.. do not possess facts on Mitosastras ni. Tapi kalau ianya tak betul, takkan lulus dalam siaran televisyen.

Cannot wait for tomorrow nite, wanna see the continuation.

Feliza - Nasha Aziz
Melina - Ida Nerina
Hazali - Zulhuzaimy
Amran - Eizlan Yusof
Pak Mito - Alex Komang Pujaan Hatiku

Wintertime in JB

From The Star,

Tuesday December 19, 2006

Heavy rains cause floods in Johor

JOHOR BARU: Continuous heavy rain since Monday evening caused floods in several districts in Johor.

About 4,000 people were evacuated and massive traffic jams were reported here during rush hour.

The floods also disrupted train services in the southern region.

Yeah, yeah,it was bad. My sis had to patah balik rumah because the area down the hill was heavily flooded. And tonite, as I was driving to kedai mamak, I saw many cars were parked up the hill, as people fear the cars would be damaged kalau banjir lagi malam ni. Ever since I returned from KL on Saturday, it was a heavy rain, non-stop. Also, our area is near the seaside.. there's something called pintu penahan air to prevent flood... if the sea-level is high, or high-tide, silap haribulan melimpah ruah area di bawah bukit ni.. Heaven Forbid, it's the area so near to the residential palace.

And.. something more.. due to heavy rain, there was something of a landslide at the Istana Bukit Serene. They say pagar istana runtuh, and they are fixing it tonight, hence we were not allowed to lalu the jalan biasa this evening. The road was closed from in front of the palace entrance until the palace of Tunku Bendahara. Haiya, had to pusing back.. but what to do..

It's winter in JB....

Newspaper Clipping

BERITA HARIAN Isnin, 18 Disember 2006

Khazanah ke Pulau Pinang

GEORGETOWN: Khazanah Nasional Berhad (Khazanah) akan membuka cawangan barunya di Pulau Pinang awal tahun depan bagi memacu kemajuan orang Melayu di negeri berkenaan dan Koridor Wilayah Utara.

Menteri Kewangan Kedua, Tan Sri Nor Mohamed Yakcop, berkata penubuhan cawangan itu yang dijangka dalam tempoh dua bulan, diluluskan Perdana Menteri, Datuk Seri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi.

Beliau berkata, penubuhan cawangan itu akan memberi semangat dan perhatian kepada penduduk Pulau Pinang khususnya orang Melayu untuk turut maju setanding dengan kaum lain.

“Fokus (Khazanah) kepada tanaman modal secara langsung atau kerjasama dengan pihak lain. Kita harus memastikan penduduk Pulau Pinang maju dan makmur, dan yang penting tidak ada kaum di negeri ini yang tertinggal,” katanya pada sidang media selepas majlis pelancaran Program Pintar di sini, semalam.

Turut hadir, Pengarah Urusan Khazanah, Datuk Azman Mokhtar dan Ketua Setiausaha Kementerian Pelajaran, Datuk Dr Zulkurnian Awang.

Sementara itu, Azman berkata, pembukaan cawangan berkenaan selepas Johor Bahru yang terbabit dalam membangunkan Wilayah Pembangunan Iskandar, akan menjadi pemangkin kepada usaha pembangunan Koridor Wilayah Utara sekali gus menjadi penggerak pelaburan strategik dan holistik.

“Perkara ini sudah dibincangkan dengan Perdana Menteri dalam mesyuarat Lembaga Pengarah syarikat berkaitan kerajaan (GLC), Khamis lalu.

“Menjadi tanggungjawab sosial GLC milik Khazanah untuk membantu usaha ini,” katanya yang menegaskan syarikat itu tidak mengambil alih fungsi agensi kerajaan sedia ada.

Mengenai Pintar yang dijangka bermula Januari depan, Nor Mohamed berkata, projek perintis membabitkan 42 sekolah rendah dan menengah terpilih di negeri ini, bertujuan membantu pelajar kurang berkemampuan untuk memperoleh pendidikan terbaik.

Beliau berkata, seramai 16,000 pelajar miskin akan menjadi anak angkat kepada 17 GLC terpilih membabitkan program tuisyen, pengangkutan dan makanan secara percuma.

"Pulau Pinang menjadi perintis sebelum diperluaskan ke negeri lain kerana banyak isu yang dibangkitkan mengenai kedudukan Melayu yang dianggap masih terpinggir.

"Antara sebab kepinggiran itu adalah pendidikan dan menerusi program bersepadu ini dapat melahirkan golongan profesional di kalangan keluarga tidak mampu," katanya yang enggan mengulas kos mengendalikan program berkenaan.

Oleh Faiza Zainudin

Corporate Secretarial - A Sincere Note

I am reading something on the Companies Commission Of Malaysia.

And my thoughts revert back to my days in the company where I worked before. To those hateful, cocky, st*pid proud secretaries (some, not all). Private Secretaries, to be precise, NOT Corporate Secretary, of course,

Those who dreamt of hijacking my place as Corporate Services Executive, those who deliberately side-tracked my job, those who sincerely tried to bypass me.

Here's a loving note, straight from my heart. Sincerely and lovingly. With Pleasure.

Firstly, Heartiest Congratulations. Though I adopted a silent and 'berbaik-sangka' approach, never once had it escaped my attention that you people were hoping to be taken under the wings of my last boss, the lady boss, hence you wanted to fill my positions. You wanted me out, right. Heartiest Congratulations because not only she left a while after I left, she left you with nothing. And I know for a fact that some of you have been absorbed to another department. Another 'well-done' for that.

Secondly, with all my love, I hereby declare my utmost pleasure for being proven right. Syukur Alhamdulillah. I knew from the beginning that you guys won't go anywhere. You guys would continue to remain where you were, you guys were meant to be where you should be. The lady boss only used you, rightfully, may I add. And you honestly, sincerely, innocently thought she trusted you, have high plans for you and high regards of you, than myself. And you believe confidently that she would bring you to higher positions. I know for sure that you wanted me to envy you, to respect you for that matter. I knew it, it is not difficult at all to detect it only from your eyes, just at it not too difficult to read her eyes, that she uses people to get her things done, come what may.

You knew she was the reason why the short-tongue-anti-social-honest-nonetheless good-looking senior manager left the company, yet you guys still hope for the best, in search for a better future. No, darlings, I don't blame you guys, I understand that that is to be expected from you, from people in your position. I totally understand. Perfecto.

May I lovingly and sincerely say this much. You guys are Private Secretaries, not Corporate or Company Secretaries. In case you do not know and are not aware (which I suspect, is highly likely the case) these two are as different as 'langit dan bumi'. Corporate Secretary has many duties, not just preparing and keeping all the FORMS. And Corporate Secretaries do sit on the company Board.

And if, you are dreaming to be a Corporate Secretary, a Licensed Corporate Secretary, sure,there are many ways. First, you take ICSA from scratch i.e. Stage 1 UNLESS you have :

1. LLB (Hons)
2. Bachelor of Accountancy (Hons.)

If you have any of the above, you could apply for a licence, but you have to sit for a qualifying examination first. But you will get the licence should you pass, not the ICSA.

If you have any of the above, and want to obtain ICSA qualifications, you have to sit for four papers, namely Corporate Administration, Corporate Governance, Corporate Finance and Corporate Secretaryship. ALL IN ENGLISH.

If you have a Diploma In Accountancy, you still have the chance, for you only need to do eight papers out of fourteen, if I am not mistaken. Again, ALL IN ENGLISH. You may be entitled for exemptions, subject to the approval and discretion of MAICSA and to your results, of course.

And by the way MAICSA stands for Malaysian Institute of Chartered Secretaries and Administrators. The beauty of the course lies in many ways, one of them being able to know automatically, which form is for what. Yes, honey, memorise the form number and name and its purpose. NOT repeating it like parrot, without knowing what it's for. I am telling the truth. And then there's Corporate Administration. You need to know, among others, current development on patents, trademarks, copyrights, Occupational Safety and Health, and world issues. So many. The reading materials would definitely have nothing much to do with Mingguan Wanita, Ma & Pa, Media, URTV, or any catalogue. Newspapers, yes, part of it. By newspapers I don't mean Mingguan Perdana or Bacaria.

There are tons of it, honey. But for now, I guess it's already too much homework for you. *smile* Don't wanna confuse you guys.

My Best Wishes.

Star Wars Episode 1 The Phantom Menace

Heaven forbid, sooo not gonna miss The Phantom Menace @ Star Movies at 10 pm tonite.
Starred by Ewan MacGregor and Liam Neeson. Also, wanna watch Queen Amidala, Anakin and Jar Jar Bink.

Unwanted Element - How I Deal With It

From Putrajaya, I headed to my Auntie Ah's house (the bride's house, Auntie Ah is my Mom's sister) to visit my beloved Atok ( my mom's mom). When I entered Atok's room, there she was, and there were two other toks (one of them is the mother of the unwanted element, the person who is responsible for all the bad things happening to me of late, including the sihir).

This mother of the unwanted element, shall I say, Tok Y, was talking to the other tok, my atok was asleep in her bed. Upon seeing my face, her expression changed immediately to that of dislike and hatred, but she said nothing. I just went straight to salam both of them and then approached my atok. After berbual with my atok, I asked the two toks casually, bila sampai, and datang dengan apa.. Tok Y just said dia daripada semalam dah sampai.. well.. tak berapa tepat, but will do lah!

Well, me talking to Tok Y was really an unexpected thing. I did not plan that. Purely spur-of-the-moment thing. Mana tidaknya there were times that I rasa nak blow off each and everyone of her family member.

Later when I nak makan, I went to dapur and pelawa Tok Y makan sekali bersama all of us. She seemed to be avoiding me, staying in dapur all the while. She just said, "aha, makan-makan.

When she is going back, I went to salam her and said, Terima Kasih, Tok. This time her expression has softened. She said, Ya, sama-sama. So was that of her sister, Tok P. I understand too well, their hatred are based on their own judgment, predictions and assumptions. But they just can't resist me. After all, I did no harm to them. It is all because of Tok Y's stupid, moronic, idiotic daughter.

Syukur kepada Allah di atas ketenangan dalam the situation. SYukur kerana I did not do anything that I will regret later on.

Whatever lah, if you think I am gonna run away and avoid you, just like what you did, you are dead wrong. Not me, not me, sorry. I will face you, I will be nice, I will be cheery and cool. I am no coward like your daughter who has gone into hiding for over a year.

If you are in the same room, I will go and salam and talk to you. If you wanna chase and hit me, I will stop and wait. But no, I will not run away. SORRY.

AND NOW EVERYBODY WOULD SERIOUSLY DOUBT YOU, because all of you were the ones spreading bad stories about me, yet why is it that your daughter is in hiding? Why never turn up at functions? Why you sit in the kitchen.. People will ask, why is Suraya treating you nicely as usua, if she's bad as what you claimed her to be?Why, Why, WHY? If you can play games, I surely know how to play along. Be mindful of that. Always.

Overview, Diana's Wedding

Reached JB at 11 something. Normal timing, though considering I started at 8 something. Many cars on the road. Duhhhh! (Earlier Saturday I started journey at 11 am something).

Diana-Irman's Wedding
December 16, 2006
Putrajaya Holdings' Conference Hall, Precinct 2, Putrajaya.

The bride n groom - beautiful, handsome. Sama cantik, samanya padan. Intelligent. Very nice persons. Bride is my immediate cousin and groom is my distant cousin (hers, too, definitely). So it was a marriage of relatives, a hall-ful of relatives.

The ceremony - Well-planned, well done. Great slides accompanying us throughout the ceremony. Rasa terharu dan nak menitis air mata watching the slides on Friday night's Majlis Pernikahan. Obviously, the photographer is the best in capturing golden moments. Two particular pictures touched my feelings deeply, i.e. the photo of Uncle Jamil hugging Irman after nikah and that of Auntie Ah's hugging Diana with red, tearful eyes. Another nice photo was that of the Doa Pengantin.

The food - In complete agreement with Auntie Na. Poor catering services. Though it was beriyani, the lauk-pauks were dry, no acar in sight. Tak tau lah kot dah habis, but I arrived at about 2 something. Majlis began at 12 noon. Takkan kot. There was nasi putih. The daging kurma was a bit liat. Air sirap. And there was teh tarik stall-style outside the hall. Auntieh Ah said the caterer degil. She's been telling them to alter menus repeatedly, but tak de apa changes. But it's okay. Alhamdulillah, it is rezeki. First time buat kenduri kahwin pun, pasti ada yang tak biasa.

Baju Pengantin - In fuchsia shade. Like the bride and groom, sama cantik, sama sepadan. Their own wedding outfit, not rented ones. Diana pakai tudung cantik dan kemas, tak nampak janggan with the veil and tiara.

Her sisters - Lovely angels, all three of them - Iffa, Sarah and Yasmin.

The Wedding Cake - Three-tiered, different flavor each. Was there when they cut the cake, eat with the pengantin. Tasted vanilla and coffe flavs.

ANIS - It was as if my darling angel was waiting for me the moment I made my entrance. MISSED HER SINCE YESTERDAY. There she was, dalam dukungan my ayah, she was quiet and calm, but she looked slightly bored, probably not used to the crowd and excessive noise (really, really my niece). Was playing with her hands, lost in thoughts, haha. The moment she saw me, terus hulurkan her hands, smiling, asking me to dukung her. Alhamdulillah, sayang Anis. The man who was talking to my Dad said, "Mau pulak dia orang dukung". My dad said, "Dah hari-hari dukung dia, ni (myself)". Hahaha.. sounds like a failed attempt by that man to dukung Nayniss. She can be very reserved with some men. No problem with ladies, though. After that she played with my long necklace, which I named 'tasbih anis' - sebab dia pegang the beads macam tengah berwirid.

The Music - mostly my favourites, for I used to like love songs too mmucchh!

THE UNWANTED ELEMENTS - Thanks to Allah, when I arrived, they already went back!

Relatives - Spent a great deal of my time there salaming and chatting with my relatives. Tiring, but I was happy nonetheless. I took Anis almost everywhere I go, and she sat quietly with me. Two people alike, it seemed. Two people who don't really like crowd and noise, finding comfort in each other's company. THANK GOD FOR NAYNISS. Nasiblah ada juga sorang gang in my family. Yeehah! Agaknya si Nayniss ni gonna be like me, loving her own company. But this does not mean we don't have friends or tak suka berkawan. We do, but only the people we trust.

Gambar - Whenever I have it, will share it.

WHAT DO I GET IN RETURN?

To many people doing business, this is a normal routine question when they are considering a new joint-venture, a new investment, a new something. Something like quid pro quo.

I can understand this.. after all orang berniaga memang profit-oriented. Acceptable, indeed.

But this one dear man, when I asked for forgiveness to my wrongdoings and expressed my hope to renew our relationship or friendship, he will ask this question. I knew what he meant. Knew too well what he wanted. He always ask this everytime. Trying his luck, no doubt.

The Mafia in me is always tempted to answer daringly.

E.g:

Q : What do I get in return?
A : Penampar.

Of course I can never say that.. he is too sensitive, though he appears to be arrogant and aloof. Besides, it's totally unexpected coming from a lady, kan?

Instead, I just say that I would do what he wants provided it's within the realms allowed by religion. But not everyone I grant this privilege, only him.

But in my heart, everytime he asks this question, I can't help saying "Tak ikhlas, sey".

Fever

I am down with fever. Hopefully I am well enough for tomorrow's day-trip to Diana's wedding.

My Realm

Today I add one more realm of mine to the Galactic Republic. A realm existed earlier this year but was dormant. I began updating it only recently. Mostly it's regarding my thoughts, my dreams.. my latest interest.

With utmost respect and greatest pleasure, I request the honor of your presence in My Jedi Realm. http://myjedirealm.blogspot.com

Be Strong

Frances de Sales : Nothing is so strong as gentleness. Nothing is so gentle as real strength.

Alfred Lord Tennyson : My strength is the strength of ten, because my heart is pure.


Friedrich Nietzsche : What doesn't kill us makes us stronger.

To all of you out there, who takes pleasure in my sorrow, whose sadness depend on my happiness here's a loving note. I knew it long before all of you, so do tell me, what's the secret, what's the surprise? Expect no open reaction from me. You will see. For Allah is All-Hearing All-Seeing. You will see. My faith is only with Allah.

If good befalls you (O Muhammad SAW), it grieves them, but if a calamity overtakes you, they say: "We took our precaution beforehand," and they turn away rejoicing." At-Taubah 9:50

THAT'S MY GOAL

That's My Goal - Shayne Ward

You know where I come from

You know my story

You know why I'm standing here

Tonight

Please don't go

Don't be in a hurry

I'm here to make it clear

Make it right

Well I know I've acted foolish

But I promise you no more

I've finally found that something

Worth reaching for

I'm not here to say I'm sorry

I'm not here to lie to you

I'm here to say I'm ready

That I've finally thought it through

I'm not here to let your love go

I'm not giving up oh no

I'm here to win your heart and soul

That's my goal

Please don't go

You know that I need you

I can't breathe without you

Live without you

Be without you

Well I know I've acted foolish

But I promise you no more

No more

I'm not here to say I'm sorry

I'm not here to lie to you

I'm here to say I'm ready

That I've finally thought it through

I'm not here to let your love go

I'm not giving up oh no

I'm here to win your heart and soul

That's my goal

Well I won't stop believing

That we will be leaving together

So when I say I love you

I'll mean it forever and ever

Ever and ever

I'm not here to say I'm sorry

I'm not here to say I'm sorry

I'm not here to lie to you

I'm here to say I'm ready

That I've finally thought it through (Oh I'm ready)

I'm not here to let your love go

I'm not giving up oh no

I'm here to win your heart and soul (That's why I'm here babe)

Yes I'm here to win your heart and soul

That's my goal That's my goal

DREAMING OF YOU

Dreaming Of You - Selena

Late at night when all the world is sleeping

I stay up and think of you

And I wish on a star

That somewhere you are thinking of me too

Cause I'm dreaming of you tonight

Til tomorrow I'll be holding you tight

And there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be

Than here in my room dreaming about you and me

Wonder if you ever see me

and I wonder if you know I'm there

If you looked in my eyes

Would you see what's inside

would you even care

I just wanna hold you close but so far

All I have are dreams of you

So I wait for the day (wait for the day)

And the courage to say

How much I love you (yes I do)

I'll be dreaming of you tonight

Til tomorrow I'll be holding you tight

And there's nowhere in the world that I'd rather be

Than here in my room dreaming about you and me

can't stop dreaming of you, can't stop dreaming, can't stop dreaming of you

Late at night when all the world is sleeping, stay up and think of you

And I still can't believe

That you came up to me and said I love you, love you too

Now I'm dreaming with you tonight

Til tomorrow and for all my life

And there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be

Than here in my room

Dreaming with you endlessly

Please Forgive Me

Please Forgive Me - Bryan Adams

It still feels like our first night together
Feels like the first kiss and
It's gettin' better baby
No one can better this
Still holding on and you're still the one

The first time our eyes met
Same feelin' I get
Only feels much stronger
and I wanna love ya longer
You still turn the fire on

*So If you're feelin' lonely.. don't

You're the only one I'd ever want

Only wanna make it good

So if I love ya a little more than I should

Please forgive me I know not what I do

Please forgive me I can't stop lovin' you

Don't deny me This pain I'm going through

Please forgive me If I need ya like I do

Please believe me Every word I say is true

Please forgive me I can't stop loving you*

Still feels like our best times together

Feels like the first touch
Still gettin' closer baby

Can't get close enough

I'm still holdin' on
You're still number one

I remember the smell of your skin

I remember everything

I remember all your moves

I remember you

I remember the nights ya know I still do

*

One thing I'm sure of Is the way we make love

And the one thing I depend on

Is for us to stay strong

With every word and every breath I'm prayin'

That's why I'm sayin'...

*

Dear Janice, do you still remember this song? More importantly, can you still recall the nights we spent dining with those gentlemen? Casanovas, if you like it, as you always said. Remember Uncle Alias (Pak Yeh), Uncle Nozi, Zaini, Halim and Hussin? What did we know, we were only 18 then! But it didn't take much for us to know what they want. Yeah, lonely men on assignment to a remote place like that. Maybe they thought we were the locals, can be bought easily. Men.. all men are brothers, yes? Can still recall the looks on their faces when we turned them down... hahaha.. You were really daring.. and hell I was learning how to strike those old-fashioned-bullsh*t artists.

Oh Jan, but I really miss dining in Desaru.. the cuisine..with the seabreeze, the sound of the gentle wave at night.. the strangers hahahaha.. the time all of us spent at the beach in Tanjung Balau (haha what a name). Remember we used to pretend that we were in Miami, braving the wave, windsurfing kononnya.. Ah, but the ombak there was really big, spectacular.. SPECTACULAR WAVE ;)

You remember, Jan.. particularly the strangers.. the thrill we were feeling.. kononnya this person was from this place, on this assignment.. each time we saw a guy, we played guessing game.. but just that, of course.. didn't wanna upset your Dennis... uhh or was it Kwan Seng? And there's the secret drive elsewhere, to the next nearest town, visiting friends.. of course our parents knew nothing..what a life!

I miss all that, I miss Desaru, the beach, the golf course.. the dining.. I miss them all..

And I kinda miss you too, my best friend JANICE LEE YIM MEI. If you are reading this, please do give a clue as to your whereabouts. Last time I heard, you called my house here in JB but at that time I was in KL.

Let's strike back, Jan. :) Wait till you see Tioman!!

Note: Janice Lee is my best friend since secondary school. Her Mom and my Mom were teachers of our school. We had been through a lot of things together, and was separated when I went to university and she to Singapore to further our studies. We reunited years later, but only for a short while.

Brave, Brace and BOND.

Though hurting badly inside, I choose to put a brave front. He cannot do anything to dampen my spirit. Sunday evening, went jalan-jalan with Mas and Faiz at Festive Street Mall Danga Bay. You may wonder, dah tak ada tempat lainkah? :). Well it's the nearest to our place, and haritu parents not in town and earlier that day ada someone passed away at our next door neighbour's. Fir, Mas and myself represented our parents pergi menziarah. So we have to standby at home, in case ada undangan tahlil or anything. Anis and folks dah pergi ke Tebrau City, a bit further.

Still hurting now, but trying hard to brace myself. Couldn't afford to stay on a low spirit. Have a job interview this Friday, so any negative feelings would be no-no-no. Besides, I have found some very positive reasons for what happened. :D Insya Allah, things would work out fine in later days. What happened had to happen for me to have a better standing with him. That much, I can say.

And, we have a great time here with our BOND. James Bond.

Presenting our Mademoiselle Bond .......

007

WOUNDED

Today, I am deeply, seriously, critically WOUNDED. Like never before.

The news and realisation hit me like a KILLER WAVE. KILLER WAVE, yes. Like the strike of a lightning. Like the SLASH of a Jedi Lightsaber.

I am wounded. I am HURT!

For a moment I was stunned. Didn't know what to do. My mind went into a thousand directions. Felt like curling in bed hoping that I would fall asleep, felt like having a bath, felt like having lunch, felt like driving around the city to be alone. The best part - felt like crying but CAN'T - my life story. It is kind of a curse when you can't cry as the emotions are trapped and welled inside.

Bochee, Butter and Blossom was with me. As if they understood what's happening. They were silent.

I felt like HATING HIM FOR GOOD. Not difficult for me to do that, believe me. But, like before, something in me, something unusual, will say, DON'T DO THAT. Strange.

Then, I recall this particular meaning of an ayat in the Holy Quran.

O you who believe, seek help in steadfastness and prayer. Allah is with the steadfast. (Al-Baqarah:153).

And something in me said "What has gotten into you? Have you forgotten that He is All-Hearing, All-Seeing? Seek protection in Him, and have no fear or worry of nothing". And to this, I said Alhamdulillah and for a while I was upset. More like terharu, actually. Because of my silly behaviour.

Finally, I decided to take a shower. Water always have a calming effect and soothe me best. Afterwards, feeling a bit better, I went out of my room in search of Anis Farissa. She was in my Mom's room, so I took her downstairs and stayed with her for a while.

Perhaps it has something got to do with her name. Anis - Yang Menenangkan Hati, Farissa - Yang Setia. She was sitting with me loyally and quietly. Laughing and smiling and cooing, never crying. Soothing and comforting.

I told her "Kita cool, kan Nayniss. Apa orang buat kat kita, kita cool aje kan Nayniss. Different class, kan Nayniss". And she smiled as if in agreement. So I spent the afternoon in the company of Nayniss, still deeply hurt.

Later, driving around in the city with Mas, my sis, I confided to Mas about it. Mas said, "Listen to your heart and seek protection in Him. Insya Allah, He will guide you". She was very matured despite her age.

And by the time the sun set, we drove home, me with a resolution and decision.

I quote the Ayat 284-286 of Surah Al-Baqarah of the Holy Quran.

[284] To GOD belongs everything in the heavens and the earth. Whether you declare your innermost thoughts, or keep them hidden, GOD holds you responsible for them. He forgives whomever He wills, and punishes whomever He wills. GOD is Omnipotent.

[285] The messenger has believed in what was sent down to him from his Lord, and so did the believers. They believe in GOD, His angels, His scripture, and His messengers: "We make no distinction among any of His messengers." They say, "We hear, and we obey. Forgive us, our Lord. To You is the ultimate destiny."

[286] GOD never burdens a soul beyond its means: to its credit is what it earns, and against it is what it commits. "Our Lord, do not condemn us if we forget or make mistakes. Our Lord, and protect us from blaspheming against You, like those before us have done. Our Lord, protect us from sinning until it becomes too late for us to repent. Pardon us and forgive us. You are our Lord and Master. Grant us victory over the disbelieving people."