Sour Grapes

He has been bothering me for almost 6 months now.. it didn't take much to realise what he's after... but hey, totally wrong person, alright... Yeah he called me almost everyday at DAWN.. and tried to ask me out soo many times too.. and has been turned down EVERY TIME... either I said I was busy or, out of spite, I fixed the time and meeting place and didn't show up, so many times...and I guess he thought I was playing hard to get (ha-ha-ha).. Oh man, my no means no and my yes means yes... siapa suruh tak faham bahasa.

The thing I hate most about him is the fact that he is so irritating and sickening and desperate. Imagine, everytime he called me, he either said "can i spend the night/weekend with u" or, if i said i am at home, "do you want me to come over?" Hello, Pakcik, come on la.. my home would be the LAST place on earth I would use as a meeting place, ESPECIALLY to meet someone like you!

Oh, sorry.. a few details.. Aged 44, Malay, Never Married (huhuhuhu why am i not surprised?) ex-army turned businessman, jiwang-looking face, extreeeemely irritating voice, and taste tak usah cakaplah.. memang taste AHLI SENJA. Travels a lot, for business and pleasure (tapi yang paling aku tak tahan nak gelak was when he invited me to accompany him to Nepal, and to the Himalaya). No, nothing wrong with Nepal and Himalaya.. the only thing yang tak kena is dia, dia, dia dan dia!

And two nights ago, he sent a text message to me.. asking me "what do you really want?" And without further delay (hehe) I pun mem'fire' dia sesedap rasa. Ada ke, I yang tak ada 0.0001% pun interest pada dia, dia boleh tanya I that question.

Kira berapi jugalah dia that night.. among the things I said to him was "I thought I should be the one who is asking that question to you, since I am very certain that I was not the one who BOTHERED your life for the past 6 months". And then he replied " I'll be very honest, I am into s*xual relationship". Lagi, I said, "How long do you take to realise that I am not interested to have any relationship with you? I believe I have made myself clear a long time ago. I hope you are not mad at me".

Pakcik tua ni jawab dengan berlagaknya konon nak bagi I panas hati.. " Nah, I'm not mad.. you're what? Just another p*ssy to me". And I said "Hehehe yes, one that you did not manage to get. Out of curiosity, why have you never been married? Any physical defects? And please do not be shy to tell" . Dia kata " Hey I don't even care if yours is covered with diamonds". I replied " Ah but you do care, otherwise you would not bother to mention the diamonds hehehehe..don't be like sour grapes... so why have you never been married?"

Sampai sini dah boleh tau la dia memang hangin dengan soalan tu. Dia kata "No reason. Just wanna add you to my collection of f*c*s." I know he wanted to make me mad . Sorry pakcik, silap besar. I said "Oh, then sorry if I disappoint you. Seriously, what kind of defects? " .It went on and on... hehehe lama-lama dia dah tak ada modal dia tuduh I ni someone's kept woman hehehe..God knows on what basis.. nak tergelak dibuatnya.. kept woman.. I am really flattered..hehehhe.. And I told him.. "Indeed, if I want to be a kept woman, definitely not YOUR kept woman lah kan"
Konon nak tunjuk smart and flippant, dia jawab "Yes, don't waste my time and money". Laju je aku jawab " Even if I wanted to, I knew you couldn't afford it" (Hohoho Mamee Slurpp Kari BERAPI).

Lepas tu dia diam je.. surely dia tengah berapi.. be rest assured tak lama lagi dia mesti call punya. Tapi lepas ni malas nak layan...

best juga bakar pakcik tua ni.. kita relax je sambil berdekah-dekah.. syok tengok dia hangin hehehe.. nama aje age 44, tapi lemau. wherever lah he got the idea yang I ni jenis orang begitu... I am VERY flattered!